Weird.

I never really paid much attention to this fact, but did you realize Obama's mother's name is Stanley?

It's quite strange. Her name was Stanley Ann Dunham, because her father wanted a boy. There's an amazing profile of Obama's past from an older article that I just came across and it traced the life of his mother...

Stanley Ann was an only child, and in those days she dealt head-on with her uncommon first name. No sense trying to hide it, even though she hated it. "My name is Stanley," she would say. "My father wanted a boy, and that's that." Her mother softened it, calling her Stanny or Stanny Ann, but at school she was Stanley, straight up. "She owned the name," recalled Susan Botkin, one of her first pals on Mercer Island. "Only once or twice was she teased. She had a sharp tongue, a deep wit, and she could kill. We all called her Stanley."

Reading about his past is just so interesting. I mean...look at this picture. Look at that kid. Who would have ever thought...

Bye Bye Bill.

Bill Kristol has been ousted from the Times Editorial Page. Props to the NY Times for finally ousting that stupid tired hack. I declare right now, categorically, if you think Bill Kristol was a good columnist, never speak to me again. Anyone thinking person who has ever read more than one or two of his editorials can reach no other conclusions than 1) Bill Kristol is an Idiot, or 2) Bill Kristol is very very very bad at his job.

Today's column: What the hell is this nonsense? Forget what you believe - This is AWFUL atrocious op-ed material.

Since Ronald Reagan’s election in 1980, conservatives of various sorts, and conservatisms of various stripes, have generally been in the ascendancy. And a good thing, too! Conservatives have been right more often than not — and more often than liberals — about most of the important issues of the day: about Communism and jihadism, crime and welfare, education and the family. Conservative policies have on the whole worked — insofar as any set of policies can be said to “work” in the real world. Conservatives of the Reagan-Bush-Gingrich-Bush years have a fair amount to be proud of.

And then he follows up with this gibberish...

We don’t really know how Barack Obama will govern. What we have so far, mainly, is an Inaugural Address, and it suggests that he may have learned more from Reagan than he has sometimes let on. Obama’s speech was unabashedly pro-American and implicitly conservative.

Obama appealed to the authority of “our forebears,” “our founding documents,” even — political correctness alert! — “our founding fathers.” He emphasized that “we will not apologize for our way of life nor will we waver in its defense.” He spoke almost not at all about rights (he had one mention of “the rights of man,” paired with “the rule of law” in the context of a discussion of the Constitution). He called for “a new era of responsibility.”

I would attempt to argue with whatever device he's trying to use to call say that Obama is stealing conservative ideas...but it's just so stupid that I think it's more a disservice to him to repeat his own words than to hold them back. Here's an interesting article on why he was canned. Turns out that sucking horribly alone won't do it.

In either case, I am very curious to see who they get to fill his spot. As I have said previously, I have generally liked all of the conservatives who filled the Times pages...William Safire was a very intelligent and sharp thinker, and I think David Brooks might actually be my favorite of the whole bunch these days. I don't really want to get into it because I just got home from work and would rather watch TV, but if you have a spare moment...these two pieces (1 2) are particularly good.

Anyhow, Fuck Bill Kristol.

(This was an exceptionally lazy and thoughtless post. But it's still not as bad as a Kristol.)

I give money, you give me paint, yes?

The paintings I asked Jeff (of antagonizing RS fame) to do, based on Bjork songs, are complete! He called them, quite sensibly, Guðmundsdóttir Series (Bjork's last name). Each piece is oil on canvas 6x6" and I think one inch deep (like all of your ex-GFs must have been into). As you can tell, both from looking at them and because I am so excitedly posting them, they are excellent.

After several hours of carefully mulling, re-arranging, thinking and viewing...I finally managed to come up with the arrangement for the 9 little fuckers, now dubbed (in my head) as the "Guðmundsdóttir Vag" (Just kidding Jeff, just "Vag" will do.) Photos of the arrangement follow the individual shots.

For those of you who like Bjork, if you're still around somewhere on this blog, I have included the track title (and mix where relevant) above each piece.

Joga
Generous Palmstroke
Cocoon
Possibly Maybe (Lucy Mix from Telegram)
Unravel
So Broken ("Spanish" guitar version - Joga single)
Enjoy
Hyperballad (Brodsky Quartet - Telegram)
UnisonThe Vag.
The Vag Equivalent of Side Boob (Side Vag)

Oh Happy Day!

There are two things to celebrate today: the first is that George W. Bush is no longer President of the United States; the second is that Barack Obama is now the President of the United States. Words cannot express. I mean, just look at his NAME! Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, BARACK OBAMA. Dude, that's awesome.

I also want to post this 18 second clip of Sasha after Obama's speech (no sound needed) because if you can see this and not break out in a huge smile...then you are barely human. Thumb. Thumb. Walk off with purpose. So cute.

(If it didn't work for some reason, click here.)

Reflecting upon the Bush legacy, it is repeatedly trumpeted that he prevented another domestic terror attack. That is true, and for that I am grateful. I think it a marvelous feat to have prevented such a network from infiltrating our country and launching another round of carnage. I would only like to note that this was not a costless achievement – namely that the cost of preventing attacks on US soil is the toll of lives lost overseas. We've prevented violence here by baiting the hook and then feeding the demons in Iraq. Lives have not been saved – but multiplied and redistributed.

Now back to better thoughts: I thought the speech was a good one, not because it delivered any high flying eternal rhetoric (the absence of which, I thought was appropriate), but because it said the things I want my President to say. It recognized that the power of the market economy is beyond question, but that the economy and growth have a purpose in a just society – providing survival and dignity to its citizens. It explicitly reached out to the Muslim world and stood firmly against evil and destruction. It expressed the freedom of opportunity to pursue happiness as the defining goal of our politics, and the necessity of personal responsibility to achieve it. It made it abundantly and explicitly clear that Obama will be the President of all Americans, even non-believers. He mentioned science. SCIENCE! And most importantly, he sought to destroy the old paradigm of politics forged in the Cold War and social upheavals of the 1960's, which have dominated discourse for the last 50 years (and even appear in the comments on this blog), which I fervently hope have been destroyed for good. If you're wondering, by chance, where I got each of these conclusions from…most of them should be contained in my favorite excerpts from his speech below.

Another point I would like to make again is my irritation at all of the people lamenting Obama's "drift" from the left (e.g., the outrage from the GLBT movement at inviting Rick Warren's to give the convocation. etc.) Just to be clear, when someone declares that Washington must be changed, what do people think that means? A radical lefty revolution? What does a new less divisive bi-partisanship mean to you? Attempting to push the country to the 1960's left? Please. Go fuck yourself. Change is the attempt to kill the old political lines. Change and improvement is leaving aside ideology and governing with the best tools humanity has to offer. Humanity, evidence, science, rationality, autonomy, thought, hope, hard work, responsibility, empathy, accountability, new ideas, and humanity. What a sublime change it will be to again apply these values to governing humanity. Leave your petty squabbles at the door.

Now here are some of my favorite passages from today:

Opportunity and Accountability - Not the Ends, but the Means.
The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

So Radical!!!!!
We will restore science to its rightful place...

The End of Ideology: Reaganist Hostility to Government and the Markets
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

Much Better than Declaring "Evil" Countries
We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

The President of All Americans
We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers.

A Direct Engagement with the Muslim World
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

HOLY SHIT!

I know I've been lazy and posting things I've seen on YouTube or TV and stuff...but shit man, have you all seen the Corn Syrup commercials by the Corn Refiner's Association? damn. That's some funny stuff. Corn forever!

Edit: I continued to listen to Radio Lab, and YES YES YES it is SO good.

I love these two guys. Haha, especially the one in the middle. Hahahaha



This is pretty awesome too. HAH.

Big Stupid Grin.

Edit: I'm not actually sure WHAT Radiolab is about. But at least this episode's about science.

I just made another wonderful discovery, this time, another podcast called "Radiolab." This is something I've heard in passing on NPR at extremely random hours, but never really latched onto. This week, This American Life included a snippet from the show, followed by effusive praise from Ira Glass - an individual that I grant unconditional credibility and who now has my absolute fullest attention. So...I decided to add the Radiolab podcast and gave it a listen...and I have to say that I definitely like it.

As a start, it's a podcast about science, but from the perspective of geeks who continue to view the world with wonder and remain continually engaged with the universe and our place in it. It's really hard to explain, but is one of those things where you feel comforted because the speakers and thinkers are people who think and function in the same universe as you. In some sense, it's the comfort you get from Jon Stewart. When Jon Stewart comments on the news and speaks to his guests, I can't help but feel like he lives in the same universe as me. Evil people doing stupid things is evil and stupid. Up is up. Down is Down. The world is as the world appears to me. I also have the same reaction to Ira Glass, who has the keenest ability to be fascinated with people and the minutiae of human behavior. I'm not drawn to them because I agree with them, but because they are mirrors that reflect the world I know. The reverse, of course, are George Bush, cable news anchors, advertising, marketing, religious people, and all such things that act and communicate an idea of the world I don't share.

In any case, this week's Radiolab opens with a story of a kid who feels the visceral creeped out feeling of first entering an awareness of the mathematical/metaphysical nature of the universe while plotting out a parabola...followed by a story of a man's love for the periodic table and the story of Mendeleev, pushing ultimately at the question of whether the elegance and function of the periodic table is a discovery of the nature of the universe, or merely the imposition of some sort of framework on the chaos. This may sound a little boring...but I was definitely not bored. For my sake, if you have an hour...or even 20 minutes...you may just want to give the episode a listen while doing the dishes or something. It may or may not be your thing. You can find it here. (And if you listen to NPR, it's NOTHING like Science Friday or anything like that.)

On a broader note, which I've sounded several times already...I have to say that I think podcasting has enriched my life immensely. As someone who has a huge appetite for knowledge in things that interest me, it allows me to pass the time pleasurably while constantly learning more and more everyday about all the things I want to know. If you have a commute, or you like to take walks, or you like books on tape, or you like NPR, or you simply like a little background noise in your life...take my advice and give this a shot. They are all free, they automatically update, and it only takes the click of a single button to subscribe off iTunes.

Currently, my list of daily/weekly podcasts is:
1) This American Life (weekly) - If you haven't heard this, if I have any credibility with you, give it a shot.
2) Marketplace (daily) - 30 minute NPR show about the economy and financial news
3) Planet Money (daily) - 15 minute podcast that was spun off from those incredible financial crisis This American Life episodes that explores the financial crisis from a layman's perspective and tries to teach about issues as they arise (e.g., wtf is the commercial paper market and who cares? What is money? Who prints money? How much US currency exists today and where is it? (900 billion and probably overseas)
4) The Splendid Table (weekly) - a "show about food for people who love to eat." Totally awesome if you like food.
5) Pardon the Interruption (daily) - the ESPN show, except just the audio.
6) Radiolab (weekly) - see above. I just downloaded 49 back episodes.

Now that I look at the list, this looks like a LOT of time I spend with my iPod and/or computer speakers...but given that my total walk/commute is about 40 to 60 minutes a day, and on average I spend 45 minutes in the gym each day, and the time I spend just taking care of stuff around the house...I actually still run out of stuff to listen to daily.

Good Reads - Sorta: Yet Another Cop Out from Original Thoughts.

I read this article today, which compiles the top 25 ridiculous Bushisms from the past 8 years. It's a little amazing. And I found myself laughing out loud in short bursts in the office (while wearing a douchey tie this time. Oh yeah...) My next post is likely to be an angry rant at yet another emergent moron movement, the anti-vaccinators, so enjoy this while you can.

Cheers to the END! I'll post the whole slate article, because it sums it all up pretty well.

* * *

I started gathering Bush's verbal slip-ups while covering his first presidential campaign. From the first one we published in Slate in October 1999—"The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?"—adding to the collection has been my main pleasure, perhaps my only pleasure, in watching the man.

Since then, I've collected—with help from Slate readers—more than 500 Bushisms. What follows is a list of my 25 favorites. There were many to choose from, but in my opinion, the greatest Bushism of all was delivered on Aug. 5, 2004, when the president declared: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

People often assume that because I've spent the past nine years collecting Bushisms, I must despise George W. Bush. To the contrary, Bushisms fill me with affection for the man—and not just because of the income stream they've generated. I find the Bush who flails with words, unlike the Bush who flails with policy, to be an endearing character. Instead of a villain, he makes himself into an irresistible buffoon, like Mrs. Malaprop, Archie Bunker, or Homer Simpson. Bush treats words the way he treated recalcitrant European leaders: When they won't do what he wants them to, he tries to bully them into submission. Through his willful, improvisational, and incompetent use of language, he tempers (very slightly) his willful, improvisational, and incompetent use of government. You can't, in the end, despise someone who regrets that, because of the rising cost of malpractice insurance, "[t]oo many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

It helps his case that Bush, like Yogi Berra, is in on the joke. This was clear from the first White House correspondents' dinner, in March 2001, when the new president read from the first collection of Bushisms, which he described as like Mao's "little red book," only not in Chinese. "Now ladies and gentlemen," he said, "you have to admit that in my sentences I go where no man has gone before." Of course, he bumbled his speech, claiming that he'd invented the term misunderstanding. He meant to say "misunderestimated."

Being able to laugh at yourself is a rare quality in a leader. It's one thing George W. Bush can do that Bill Clinton couldn't. Unfortunately, as we bid farewell to Bushisms, we must conclude that the joke was mainly on us.

1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006

8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

9. "I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007

10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

11. "We ought to make the pie higher."—South Carolina Republican debate, Feb. 15, 2000

12. "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

13. "And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."—speaking on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

14. "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."—Houston, Sept. 6, 2000

15. "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."—Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

16. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."—U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 3, 2000

17. "People say, 'How can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil?' You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

18. "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."—CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000

19. "I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."—on the prospect of visiting Denmark, Washington, D.C., June 29, 2005

20. "I think it's really important for this great state of baseball to reach out to people of all walks of life to make sure that the sport is inclusive. The best way to do it is to convince little kids how to—the beauty of playing baseball."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 13, 2006

21. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."—LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

22. "You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war president. No president wants to be a war president, but I am one."—Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006

23. "There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.' "—Boston, Oct. 3, 2000

24. "They misunderestimated me."—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

25. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."—Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

Jacob Weisberg is chairman and editor-in-chief of the Slate Group and author of The Bush Tragedy.

Top That.

I just felt like posting this today. If you haven't seen it already, there is absolutely, positively, no excuse for not watching it.



Impossible.

AGH!

Let's start here: I now love Elizabeth Banks (of Seth and Miri Make a Porno fame) for openly discussing douchebags on network television and leading me to an awesome webpage called hotchickswithdouchebags.
hehe...I just learned an awesome new adjective and noun: uberscrote.



So I went to this bar last night to see a friend who came in from out of town and put my coat on top of a bench in a pile of coats in the middle of the room. I stepped out for 5 minutes, came back, and discovered that my coat was missing. Inside my (favorite and irreplaceable) coat? My phone and my keys. What THE FUCK. I had to ask my out of town guest to stay with a friend in brooklyn and I had to crash at my friend's house in the Upper West Side for 3 hours before dragging my ass home.

Other than that, my New Year's weekend was pretty frickin' awesome. 7 folks from SC, SF, Chi-town, and NJ traveled up here and we made a run at the city. We had a smashingly good dinner at this tapas joint called Alta and lounged over sangria until we made our way over to this club called Pressure, where we quickly raided the open bar and built ourselves a stash of about 15 extra drinks in the corner. Quickly and ferociously, we derided the legions of Steves (who all dressed as if they were going to the office) and Stephs as we lapped our way through the open bar until the ball dropped. (...uh, then we got kicked out and went home.) Then, inexplicably, we lost one of our own. Whipping out the cell, I sent the text: "Hey, where the hell are you?" "Coyote Ugly."

We then got drunk at Coyote Ugly.

On Thursday, I woke up at 4 pm and feeling like I was going to die...we sat six deep in my living room trying desperately not to die, watching Planet Earth. After we managed to get ourselves right, we wandered uptown towards Rockefeller Center to see the big tree, then over to Times Square to witness the giant clusterfuck that is Times Square, marveled at the insanity of any person who waited outside for 9 hours the night before to watch the ball drop without alcohol, and then wandered over to St. Marks to eat a totally shit-tastic dinner at a shit-tastic place with food and serve that tasted like...poo. Then we drank ourselves to sleep at home at 4am.

Friday, we painfully dragged ourselves up around noon and tried to get over to Ippudo Ramen (best ever ramen best ever ramen best ever ramen), which we found was closed (FUCKERS)...but managed to snag ourselves instant seating, pizza, and beers at Otto, one of Mario Batali's lower-end restaurants. We followed up with a lazy walk around the West Village, stopping off for some beers at the Slaughtered Lamb, and then trekked back across to Soho where Nik managed to recession-rob some stores out of tons of merchandise. Then, we made it back to my place where we sat dazed, exhausted, and completely beat and eating Veniero's Cheesecake...that is...until we decided to put on some good ol' top-40 pop through (my super awesome) loud speakers, and what began with Rihanna's Don't Stop the Music became a shit show of all of the best/worst rap and hip hop ever...after which point we got ourselves all energized-likes and the girls decided that some dancing was in store. So we took a short walk down to Spitzer's Corner on the Lower East Side, managed to grab a perfect table in what was otherwise a total madhouse, and managed to grab yet another great meal, followed by a trip to a random swank lounge/club called Ella...which is velvet rope, dressy, and annoying about guy/girl ratios, but we managed to get into purely on A's sweet talking ability. Then we basically danced and drank for a couple more hours then stumbled home. After getting home, apparently went back to Coyote Ugly while I did my best Samwell impression while blaring What What (In The Butt).

Then we got up, chain smoked, drank coffee, ate croissants, packed, and sent most of 'em packing...after which point I sat on the couch watching The Wire while Mike wandered off to Magnolias. Then, of course, I went out drinking again with some old and new friends in brooklyn until I ended up in Chelsea at the DOUCHEBAG SPOT WHERE MY SHIT GOT STOLEN.

ok...enough mindless narrative for one day. I suppose I just wanted to keep a diary of the weekend, because it was fun.