Memory.

Turns out I have no short or medium term memory. Increasingly, as I meet old friends who come into New York (of which there were 4 or 5 in the past two months), I simply do not remember anything about our last interactions, funny stories that took place or conversations I've had with them. Just big blank spots. Stories that stick in people's heads deeply are deeply unfamiliar to me. My own life is a string of present sense impressions with less and less reflection on the past, including firm commitments I make to myself and the smallest joys of each day. I have occasionally gone back through my blog and re-read some of my posts and realize that I don't have the slightest memory of the moments I've written about.

As a remedy for this, I am going to attempt (and hopefully not with futility) to record just a little bit at a time here and see if I can at least have some record of my own life and record the memories I don't record in my own mind.

In any case, I have recently turned back to the pleasures of food and the farmer's market. I'm snacking on french breakfast radishes dipped in room temperature butter seasoned with salt and pepper having just finished off beet pancakes accompanied by sauteed beet greens with garlic scapes. And tonight I think we are going to attempt to make an entire pound's worth of garlic scapes into garlic scape pesto as well as a giant bowl of fresh linguine with clams (which, despite its simplicity is deeply flavorful). And now I am going to try run 2 miles and see if my body gives out. I think I am back at an all-time high of being unhealthy after approximately a year of indolence and indulgence (a good name for my biography, actually), and I think it's time to once again remedy this. My last attempt resulted in a solid year of being healthy and in shape without the lingering self-loathing that would otherwise fill my days. Let's hope this works again.