Monday Night.

I really haven't had much to say recently because I've been cooped up in the library all day, except for my birthday party...so I figured I'd report on today's events.

So I basically had a real Harvard moment last night, and I don't think I was very good at it. I get this random email from my professor's assistant last week asking, "Professor Jackson would like to invite you to dinner after the presentation on Monday with the general counsel of the SEC."

My first reaction was "hell no."

After a moment, I hit back space to delete the words "Hell no" from the reply-email and pondered, "isn't this the sort of thing I'm supposed to be doing here?" So ignore the email, and go back to work while I thought it over. After thinking for awhile, I figured that this was sort of a big class dinner thing. There were only 15 of us, so we were all probably going to the dinner. So I look at the email again, and it's addressed to me, and it says "Hi Jay." Hm.

Eventually, I suck it up and decide to accept. It's time for me to grow a pair and do the things that adults are expected to do.

So, I show up last night and it's just me and one other student. And it takes place in here:
...which is a place I have no business being in. I have not the slightest understanding of why I have been invited. I don't really understand finance. I'm sort of a fraud. I don't have a great econ background, I only took securities regulation for 13 days and NEVER learned a thing about the trading markets. I always get confused when I hear the word broker-dealer. I took one single finance class last spring, from which ALL of my knowledge springs. ONE. ONE! Yeah, so I think it's fascinating and I learn more every day...but I am really not someone who can earnestly consider myself even remotely expert. I'm informed, and I'm curious. That's the line. I just understand enough to survive my classes and maybe read half of the business pages. What am I doing here?!?!

As I walk into the room, my heart drops, a brick tears its way through the seat of my pants, and I begin numbly dreading the next two hours of my life. It appears that the financial illuminati of Harvard Law School have all congregated in one room: the former Dean of the law school and former director of Time Warner, an infamous shareholder agitator, a German finance professors, Harvard Business School professor, the directors of all of the corporate and finance departments in the law school, the general counsel of the SEC, former Presidents of the Law Review, and at least 6 former Supreme Court clerks. And there were only about 10 people in the room total, so I could not safely hide in the corner. Suckage. Cocktails at 7. Dinner at 7:30. Discomfort forever.

So I drank wine. And I drank more wine. And I ate the froufy foods. And I sat there, non-contributing as these people zinged back and forth discussing the most complex high finance concepts from subprime to the financial bubbles to IFRS and GAAP to the 1929 crash, and on and on and on. It was fascinating, but I knew I had nothing to contribute, and calmly ate my food. Fork in left hand. Cut romaine leaf in two pieces. Stab lettuce and julienned pepper with left hand. Raise fork. Place knife carefully on top right of plate. Pass fork to right hand. Raise to mouth. Transfer fork back to left hand to pin down slippery piece of endive. Eat super slowly. Smile at finance jokes.

Ultimately, it turned out well enough. I got to witness the dialogue between academia and the government about very important issues. I got to see the inside of the faculty club. I got to be the only minority in the room. I got a free gourmet meal that apparently was 70 dollars a plate. I managed to avoid making a fool of myself, even if I did come off a bit timid. And, I got to walk out the door, and promptly go out drinking with a friend until 3 am on Monday night. I consider it a success.