Passing the Time.

Your mother is a whore.


Discuss.

Of course I'm going to mention it...

For anyone who has been reading this collection of verbal diarrhea and malformed opinions I call my blog, you know that I am constantly bitching about guns in this country and the idiocy of American gun laws.

Just to be sure I don't pass up on an easy opportunity to continue bitching about the pro-gun jackass lobby, 14-year old high school kid was apparently able to just get upset and walk into school with a gun in each hand and shoot up the school.

Anyone want to take bets against me for how long it will be for the next act of random, preventable gun violence by a civilian? I'll give you 2 to 1 odds that it will happen within 30 days, and if it's a kid, I get 2 to 1. Anyone? Small bets welcome. Even betting in kind (read: beer) is perfectly acceptable.

Jesus Ruvs You

I know (proudly) that I am one of the most racist anti-Asian person many of you know. And as much as my blanket intolerance for Asians is a joke, there's a kernel of uneasiness I have always had with the Asian-American community. I have always thought that it stemmed from having a divergent world view or different attitudes about how to approach life, relationships, and work. I admit freely that my values have always been far more "white" than Asian, even though, as you all know, you've also probably never met anyone as anti-White as me. (And that's totally not a joke.)

Anyhow, that's not really what this post is about. This post is about a trend that I have noticed a lot over the past 8 years, but did not realize was nearly as widespread and pervasive as it truly is. What's the trend? ...Asian Evangelical Christians.

Times have changed. The Reverend Peter Gomes, Minister of Harvard’s Memorial Church, says, “There are probably more evangelicals [on Harvard’s campus today] than at any time since the seventeenth century.” The Ivy League’s desire for diversity opened new doors for religious students. Evangelical groups today sponsor campus-wide forums, Bible studies, and debates about the relevance of faith to everything from science to international affairs.

In part, this can be attributed to the growing number of Asian-American students. On many Ivy League campuses, they have come to dominate evangelical groups. At Yale, 90 percent of the Campus Crusade for Christ members are Asian American; in the 1980s, the same chapter was 100 percent white. In fact, the growing presence of Asian-Americans on elite campuses may be the single largest demographic factor in evangelicalism’s ascent at places like Yale and Harvard.

Now THAT is very interesting. Aside from the fact that Asians dominate admissions to top-tier schools (I play the Asians-are-good-card when it suits me), I now have an entirely different and legitimate reason to shun the vast majority Asians: the whole Jesus Thing. This also gives me especially good reason to be anti-Korean (a sentiment which I've always vocalized somewhat arbitrarily)... because they seem to be the most fanatically evangelical Christians.

Strictly speaking, this is not relevant. But a new theory denying the Jew Jesus and the Black Jesus has emerged...

A new twist on an old favorite!

Has anyone else noticed this trend? I had always assumed it had something to do with seeking white acceptance (with White Christians no less, the most accepting tolerant people except for radical Islamists), but with such high numbers and such a strong trend, it seems like it has to be more than that. Personally I've always felt that Jesus has been a fairly hostile force in my life...with the exception of my near-marriage into a Pastor's family (which is of course, another story entirely). Jesus just didn't seem like he wanted anything to do with us slants.

I feel like I have much more to say about this but I don't feel like engaging in any more mental masturbation on the topic while I sit in my library.

Pensive.

About what, you might ask? What could possibly make Jay, stupid mama-joke laugh at "that's what she said" Jay, pensive?

Well, not much to be honest. Basically, while I was perusing the New Yorker, the Paris Review, and the London Review of Books this evening after my long work session in the Hahvahd library, I came across this clip of Britney Spears. Somehow. In between black and white comics.

Anyhow, I watched this clip in between sips of a 1990 Bordeaux that was simply transcendant. Orchestral even...a symphony of delicate flavors. A cello of black currant complimented nicely by the brassy trumpety mouthfeel with just the slightest flute of lavender. Divine.
(By this I mean I came home, opened a bag of Rold Gold Sourdought pretzels, cracked a Mich Light, and surfed over to the Superficial.)

Anyway, I do find this video very disturbing. I mean, I don't really know what Britney Spears is doing in this parking lot or how unannounced it is, or how all the cameramen knew where to be...but it is absolutely insane how there's just this cloud of photographers swarming around you in dense packs just eager to exploit your flaws, expose your bad side, and generally invade your privacy. Now I'm not saying that the paparazzi should lay off, or that celebrities deserve their privacy...(because honestly, you're an star because you like attention)...but it is very unsettling to actually see what it's like for them everyday.

Two other notes:
1) When crazy lady comes to yell at Britney, I do like how the photographers come to her defense.
2) It's worth watching just to see the camera guy fall.

I totally forgot...

I was going through my old pictures, and I went into my video files and found my motherload of India pictures...and I just totally forgot what it was like...This is one of my favorite videos of all time. I love this girl. AJ met her. She does too.

(There's sound...and it's probably the best part aside from my retard-laughter.)



All the yelling she's doing? She's calling for the head nurse, Bilji Benny...whom she calls "Benny Sir." She calls me "Jay Uncle" in case you're wondering why on earth she refers to me with 3 syllables. It's also not clear why her first instinct is to run. But run she does.

P.S. - Awesome. I can upload videos straight into my blog. Time for Robot Porn!

Another day of Random Shit.

1) Hum's song "Stars" is now the theme song of a lame Cadillac commercial. In case you don't know the song Stars, and you wish you did, here is the video (which I have never seen for the past 13 years since I fell in love with the song...a song which we still cover to this day...Beach House Whoop whoop!):

The Video is exceptionally lame apparently.

2) This is very very old news...but I finally watched the John Edwards hairstyling video. The music isn't particularly funny, it actually just sorta detracts from the spectacle it is. But, seriously, what the fuck? I'm totally sympathetic with looking perfect before going before the nation and asking to be president, but....the swoopy brushing and compact mirror squinching is a little unsettling...


And that's Saturday!

Modern Marvels: Balls

More than anything else, I just wanted to type the title of tonight's episode into the subject heading. (Harvard Law School has helped me mature. To appreciate the depth and subtlety this universe has to offer. Balls.)

Anyhow, the episode was awesome. So Boo-yah. (No seriously. Watch it.)

Wow...Dude...Wow.

...was the response of two car wash jockeys the second I pulled into the car wash. The reason is because my car has been parked under a tree for the last 2 weeks, and 10,000 birds channeled the soul of Jackson Pollack into their own Autumn Rhythm on my car. I always wondered where Pollack got his title for the piece (other than alcohol), but now I know.

And just to deepen your appreciate for the day, I'm posting two things: 1) CNN's mastery once again, and 2) the joy of friends who look like other people. Enjoy. Happy Thursday!

Edit: I forgot! The reason I got my car washed is because my brother is taking my car away forever! To that end, I got my motorcycle permit at the DMV this afternoon. Whoop whoop!

Super Apologetic for this Question.

But I'm actually very curious, and I'm not really sure where to look up the answer. This is a very specialized, very random question to ask...but I just want to take a shot:

Does anyone know why the ratings agencies like Moody's and S&P gave subprime mortgage bonds such bulletproof ratings? It seems like the crux of this whole massive meltdown is the fact that investment banks, hedge funds, and whoever else believed that the subprime mortgage bonds were high-yield with low-risk. In other words, easy money. So let me rephrase the question in two parts:

1) What made sophisticated financial investors believe that a free lunch was even possible with high-yield mortgage bonds? What was the reasoning that ran through their heads?
2) Why did the rating agencies believe that? What was the logic?

I guess it's the same question...but from my remedial understanding of the problem, I simply don't get it. Does it have to do with the strength of the housing market? Have mortgage loans historically been very safe, and thus had very low rates of default? Were they not aware that the banks were giving subprime mortgages without proper risk assessments, and assuming that the mortgages were approximately equivalent to the mortgages of the past?

I honestly think that this topic is intensely fascinating and I'm utterly thrilled that I happen to have finally understood these issues just as our markets are melting down into goo. (except for the fact that my first job will be taking place in a pool of market goo...i guess...)

Seriously though, it's random, but does anyone know?

Super Pissed.

I was excited to find that our problem set in secured transactions only had 4 problems today.

...Except Problem 2 has five separate subquestions with references to 23 separate statutes.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm an American, Bitch!

I tried to take a part of the new citizenship test for the US, which is supposed to be too hard.

100% Bitches!

Taser This: Fuck Bush.

So, if you have been horrendously bored in class, you have probably ignored a little headline regarding a Colorado student newspaper that printed a column with the title above. As could be expected the Young Republicans are trying to get him to resign, businesses have withdrawn their advertising, and even CNN is reporting on this fast breaking calamity. Just a few points.

1) That doesn't make any sense. "Taser this: Fuck Bush?" What? That's idiotic. (Unless of course he was trying to get tasered, at which point he could proclaim that he shouldn't have been tasered because that is in violation of his First Amendment rights. That or he was just trying to say something provocative that he is entitled to say under the First Amendment...just cuz.)

2) I wish people would stop invoking the Freedom of Speech. Seriously. This is probably something very obvious to everybody, but I just want to make sure: The freedom of speech applies to the government. The government cannot pass laws or take action abridging your right to speech. If you say something that's really fucking stupid, I can choose not to go to your business. I can put up billboards against you. I can tell every person in the world about the douchey thing you said. The media can shun you. The populace can shun you. And they absolutely should.

When the Managing Director of the company that produces Cristal says he wishes black people wouldn't drink it...then of COURSE Jay-Z is supposed to say fuck you and bring the house down. When Don Imus talks about the "nappy headed hos", there's no problem dragging him through the streets (figuratively) and utterly destroying his career. In fact, the aftermath of both events was quite amusing.

Free speech does not make you unaccountable for making douche-bag comments. It's just (supposed) to keep you from being Tasered by your government for saying it.
(Note: I've never taken First Amendment...so if anyone wants to weigh in on how what I'm saying is incorrect, feel free. I'm just sick of hearing the oft-repeated refrain implying that people are not accountable for what they say because of the First Amendment.)

(I appear to be posting a lot more now...I'll only say that there hasn't been a single post this semester where my textbook wasn't open in front of me next to an uncapped and ready-to-roll highlighter.)

Ahmadinejad.

I have to admit...the stupid bastard is very charismatic. I do find a lot of the things he says, and the actions his government takes to be disgusting, but I don't actually hate him. Of course, I don't really care about him all that much either. I think a lot of my indifference to him is that most reliable sources indicate that he actually doesn't have all that much power. He runs the civil government of Iran, but Ayatollah Ali Khamenei still holds absolute power...and can basically slap ol' Mahmoo-cow out of office and out of power whenever he feels like it. For fuck's sake, his title is Supreme Leader. (Incidentally, even Khamenei allows stem cell research and cloning, according to Wikipedia, and believes in economic privatization...Go figure.)

The real point of this post is to point out that President of the Islamic Republic of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad....has a blog. No. Seriously.

Here's an eloquent response to his posts...


Edit:

Admittedly the other dude is really tall, but the effect is fantastic.

Just Cuz, bitch.

This is what I've been watching everyday....so I thought I'd share moments of my life with you. Take a moment. Kick back. Relax. Have a beer.








These aren't even the best....just what I could scrape up. Except the slap in the face.

Awful. Simply Disgusting.

For those of you who went to the beach, I know that you share my aversion to catfish. Especially that big one that made that wet glomping sound as it ate someone's spit/fish food. I shudder at the memory.

Just for you, I decided to not do my secured transactions homework, and instead, bring you Disgusting (and terrifying) pictures of Catfish!



And of course, the Catfish who choked on a four square ball. Blech.




Here's a video for good measure. It takes a while...but...JESUS.

Ignore if you don't give a shit about Feist.

So I came across this video of her performance of 1234 on Letterman. I have to say I'm surprisingly shocked at how good her voice actually is, and how crisp, clean, and fantastic this performance was:



Dayum.

(If you still don't know who she is, you probably know this song...although oddly, the music doesn't fully rise to the surface front and center until about 30 or 40 seconds in.)

The Monster's Outta the Cage!

For the three or four of you in the know, it turns out that Matt Christensen lives down the street from me. I've seen him several times walking home the same route I take, and today I'm absolutely certain it's him.

Part of it, of course, is the brief look of apprehension when he saw me walking toward him wearing a "FOCUS" shirt. (Duke has a program called FOCUS.)

Triumph!

In our second Flag Football game of the season, we emerged Triumphant!
Aside from my spectacular touchdown grab (which, of course, was the product of a spectacular endzone pass), and my spectacular 30 yard long-bomb caught on the run resulting in a near touchdown...I only had one disappointment. We didn't do any endzone sumo dance when I scored a touchdown. (Crouch. Left foot stomp. Right foot stomp. Massive chest bump amid yells.)

The picture itself is explanatory. Peace bitches.

If you're smoking, you're still breathing, right?

I’ve noticed that most smokers over a certain age are fat.

They aren’t morbidly obese. They aren’t generally the super-fat, embarrassingly large, I-can’t-believe-they-don’t-love-butter types. They’re the soft ones. A little pudgy with rounded doughy shoulders, a conspicuous absence of muscular architecture, and a hint of jowliness. More than the exhortations of the Truth folks who apparently stage die-ins in front of the building of a major tobacco corporation (as I have learned from several movie previews)…the specter of becoming (more of) a bag of wet cement with cankles is much more effective in cutting down my smoking.

Maybe it’s because when we were younger, smokers still hadn’t stopped growing and reaching their sedentary low adult metabolism…or that people who can’t resist the sublime allure of tobacco also can’t resist the irresistible tractor beams of butter, beer, and watching TV on the couch. (Personal note: Eating a stick of butter with a cigarette in one hand, a hearty brew in the right, and watching The Office on television….awesomeness.) I honestly don't know what it is, but the more fat smokers I see, the more uneasy I get about this lovely habit of mine.

Ahh....the Good ol' Days.

For good measure, just in case this post was boring, here's a picture of a Starfish eating a mussel. Hardcore! (and terrifying and blegch!)

Don't Tase Me Bro!

Ok...by now you've all seen the kid getting Tased.



My first reaction, of course, was anger. I thought it was unnecessary brutality. I thought it was shitty (and stupid) of the cops to Tase the kid. (I 'm not sure what the whole thing says about Free Speech, but let's just say I find the use of "Free Speech Zones" to cordon off protesters to be a bit more troubling.)...In any case, suffice it to say that I find the whole thing infuriating. So let's get that baseline out of the way...

Now let's move onto what my other reaction is: At almost every slightly controversial or political speech I have attended (at least since I've been in Cambridge), there is always someone like this kid. There is always someone passionately idealistic, dogmatically convinced of their rightness (and righteousness), and an absolute conviction that the data points and dots they've connected in their minds is sacred gospel - that they are truth incarnate. (For some reason they're always...semi-hippies too.)

I discussed my first encounter with this last year when I attended a speech by Pascal Lamy, the Director General of the WTO (who has absolutely no authority by the way. His speech focused primarily on poverty alleviation and changing the international trade paradigm to pay less attention to the free-market approach (the Washington Consensus) and instead turn to a more humanitarian, more practical, and softer Geneva Consensus. As expected, about 8 or 9 young hippie types wearing "NO WTO" bandannas would stand up every 7 minutes or so and start railing against the WTO, until they were bodily dragged from the premises. (Incidentally, from the perspective of someone who has studied international trade, development economics, and issues of development and policy...these people clearly knew very little about the subject apart from the slogans and fearmongering they attempted.)

Another student made an attempt to argue the Global Warming case in front of Justice Scalia during his friendly visit to the university. Besides the fact that impassioned statements such as "How can you look at yourself in the mirror at a face that will be responsible for killing millions of our grandchildren?" don't go over particularly well with Scalia-types, the zealous self-righteousness which infected his diatribe made it completely certain that his words would have no effect whatsoever.

I have nothing against challenging these speakers with honest questions. I don't begrudge them their belief in their causes. I think they may serve a greater purpose in many respects. I also respect their courage.

...That doesn't mean I don't think they're irritating. That they're dogmatic ideologies aren't so completely wrong that I might have to declare myself conservative just to not be associated with them. That they often have nothing useful to say. That there's a remarkable consistency in their unwillingness to listen. Just because I believe in freedom of speech, the power of dissent, and in the accountability of our governments does not mean that I actually give a shit what you say. So sure. Speak. I still think you're a douchebag.

Here's a meaningful contribution in the aftermath.
The bandanna around his neck is for later.

Anyhow, I'm not sure how I got off on that. I just get very irritated whenever someone has to be dragged bodily from one of these speeches. The indignation about their right to speak, which is accompanied by semi-violent resistance just leads me to think that they aren't actually collecting the dots on what it means to have the freedom of speech...much like the moments when you're 5 years old and poke another kid in the back with a stick, to which the kid objects, and your response is "what're you gonna do? It's a free country" thus rendering him speechless.

....Because there are people who stand up during these forums and ask hard questions. Very hard questions. And they do it without the hostility and self-aggrandizement we so often see. And even when they get upset and get into sometimes heated and important discussions with the speaker, never do we see these people dragged out forcibly.

And finally, I'd like to just note that Taser boy is actually an asshole. He stood at a busy intersection with a big sign that said "Harry Dies" while waving the last Harry Potter book around. Who cares if it's true, not true, or whatever. It's fucking annoying. He's a dick.

So I say, let's take back the Tasing from the Kerry speech, rewind the tape...and drive-by Tase the kid as he holds up the sign. Then, truly can it be said that justice is served.