Friday, January 11, 2008

Meat Detox.

I've decided to take some time away from eating meat. Mainly because I'm a fatass who needs to drop some weight, but also because I think I tend to eat too much meat in general, and would like to generally learn to cut back in the long term. Now it's only lasted 3 days so far, and I don't have any idea how long I plan to do this (4 days? 1 week? 1 week and 1 day?), but interestingly, it's not totally horrible. I actually ate at a restaurant called "Veggie Planet" yesterday, and left feeling full and satisfied. Bizarre.

Now, more importantly, I received in the mail today an offer from Omaha Steaks. They have my mailing address, because at one point, I received the best friggin' gift EVER, which was a shipment of 6 Omaha Sirloins, and special potato balls. Delish. (yes. That was a Rachael Ray reference.) Those steaks were FANTASTIC. But they're also very expensive. (Thanks, by the way.)

In any case, here is the offer for 50 bucks:
--4 Top Sirloins
--4 Pork Chops
--4 Chicken Breasts
--10 Omaha Steak Burgers
--2 Stuffed Sole with Scallops and Crabmeat
--4 Stuffed Baked Potatoes
--6 Piece knife set and cutting board + A Deluxe Blade Sharpener.

Normally, the appearance of the free knife set would make me very suspicious, and I would toss it. But DUDE!!!!! (Just for reference, the website currently is offering 6 top sirloins for 40 bucks.)

(Note: This stack of bills, mail, letters, offers, checks, utilities, campaign material, and all that other stuff we get in the mail has been building up and accumulating on my desk since December. Unopened.
On the other hand, the Omaha Steaks envelope arrived and was opened immediately.)

Also, I am aware that the title "Meat Detox" is a little contradictory, considering the bounty that awaits...but maybe that makes it just that much better.

That makes me wonder: Would anyone be willing to dare/bet me that I not eat ANY meat until I receive the shipment of Omaha Steaks? It will take 7-10 business days after they receive this order from me...so, that means if I mail it out tomorrow, it takes 2-3 days to arrive in Omaha (worst city on earth, except for the steaks), then it would be, what, 2 weeks?

Winner gets a steak dinner. Somehow.

If not, we should at least gamble on the playoffs.

(Final note: Looking at pictures of steaks on the internet for the purpose of posting it on your blog while you're not eating meat is not cool.)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'll take a steak dinner!

thanks,
j

ADM said...

Did I just hear a gauntlet hit the floor? Yes? Because if so, I need to make sure I mail this out tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Dude, of course you can go two weeks without meat. And wow, what an obvious, cheap and lame critique of Omaha. Get creative. Even if its something hackneyed like "Omaha, where the farmers are horny and the cows are scared".

RS

Rousseausgarden said...

Dude, how could Omaha possibly be that bad? Don't you remember the Counting Crows song?

"Omaha-a... Somewhere in Middle America...."

Still waiting for that first song.

- Haubs

Anonymous said...

I think intentionally depriving yourself of meat for an extended period of time has a good chance of leading you to resort to food that is even more unhealthy for you. (I mean you or me specifically, not for human diets in general)

Anonymous said...

The Omaha reference was meant for me. (And I don't take offense b/c I am used to the abuse).

Hsin, if you like Omaha steaks so much (which they are good), come visit Nebraska sometime--I will get you steak that is twice as good.

DA

ADM said...

Let's see.

RS and Haubs: DA is correct. he is from Omaha and all I do is abuse the fact.

Hsien: Correct. I ate tons of chocolate today. Also, DA's reference to Hsin is a reference to me, not you.

DA: Take the bet then. No meat until they arrive. And then you can buy me a steak.

Anonymous said...

I'm bored in class. Post something bitch