Random Numbers...

Apparently about 7,000 civilians have been killed in Iraq over the past two months, as reported by the UN. Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!?! seven THOUSAND?!

It's incredible how high these numbers are, and how easily I've been shrugging them off because of the sheer volume of reports of death and destruction we get every single day. But...I mean, that's 7,000 families who have just been torn apart...in two months.

Concerning the hostage-taking shooting you probably didn't notice because of the frequency of such occurrences

Can anyone explain, aside from an invocation of constitutional dogmatism ungirded by any rational explanation, why we don't have effective gun control laws yet? SOMEBODY. And a real goddamn answer...no stupid bullshit.

All I'm really asking for is a legitimate explanation for why I shouldn't categorically hate all members of the NRA.

Anyone?

Feb. 2, 1996 Moses Lake, Wash.	Two students and one teacher killed, one other wounded when 14-year-old Barry Loukaitis opened fire on his algebra class.
Feb. 19, 1997 Bethel, Alaska	Principal and one student killed, two others wounded by Evan Ramsey, 16.
Oct. 1, 1997 Pearl, Miss.	Two students killed and seven wounded by Luke Woodham, 16, who was also accused of killing his mother. He and his friends were said to be outcasts who worshiped Satan.
Dec. 1, 1997 West Paducah, Ky.	Three students killed, five wounded by Michael Carneal, 14, as they participated in a prayer circle at Heath High School.
Dec. 15, 1997 Stamps, Ark.	Two students wounded. Colt Todd, 14, was hiding in the woods when he shot the students as they stood in the parking lot.
March 24, 1998 Jonesboro, Ark.	Four students and one teacher killed, ten others wounded outside as Westside Middle School emptied during a false fire alarm. Mitchell Johnson, 13, and Andrew Golden, 11, shot at their classmates and teachers from the woods.
April 24, 1998 Edinboro, Pa.	One teacher, John Gillette, killed, two students wounded at a dance at James W. Parker Middle School. Andrew Wurst, 14, was charged.
May 19, 1998 Fayetteville, Tenn.	One student killed in the parking lot at Lincoln County High School three days before he was to graduate. The victim was dating the ex-girlfriend of his killer, 18-year-old honor student Jacob Davis.
May 21, 1998 Springfield, Ore.	Two students killed, 22 others wounded in the cafeteria at Thurston High School by 15-year-old Kip Kinkel. Kinkel had been arrested and released a day earlier for bringing a gun to school. His parents were later found dead at home.
June 15, 1998 Richmond, Va.	One teacher and one guidance counselor wounded by a 14-year-old boy in the school hallway.
April 20, 1999 Littleton, Colo.	14 students (including killers) and one teacher killed, 23 others wounded at Columbine High School in the nation's deadliest school shooting. Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, had plotted for a year to kill at least 500 and blow up their school. At the end of their hour-long rampage, they turned their guns on themselves.
May 20, 1999 Conyers, Ga.	Six students injured at Heritage High School by Thomas Solomon, 15, who was reportedly depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend.
Nov. 19, 1999 Deming, N.M.	Victor Cordova Jr., 12, shot and killed Araceli Tena, 13, in the lobby of Deming Middle School.
Dec. 6, 1999 Fort Gibson, Okla.	Four students wounded as Seth Trickey, 13, opened fire with a 9mm semiautomatic handgun at Fort Gibson Middle School.
Feb. 29, 2000 Mount Morris Township, Mich.	Six-year-old Kayla Rolland shot dead at Buell Elementary School near Flint, Mich. The assailant was identified as a six-year-old boy with a .32-caliber handgun.
March 10, 2000 Savannah, Ga.	Two students killed by Darrell Ingram, 19, while leaving a dance sponsored by Beach High School.
May 26, 2000 Lake Worth, Fla.	One teacher, Barry Grunow, shot and killed at Lake Worth Middle School by Nate Brazill, 13, with .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol on the last day of classes.
Sept. 26, 2000 New Orleans, La.	Two students wounded with the same gun during a fight at Woodson Middle School.
Jan. 17, 2001 Baltimore, Md.	One student shot and killed in front of Lake Clifton Eastern High School.
March 5, 2001 Santee, Calif.	Two killed and 13 wounded by Charles Andrew Williams, 15, firing from a bathroom at Santana High School.
March 7, 2001 Williamsport, Pa.	Elizabeth Catherine Bush, 14, wounded student Kimberly Marchese in the cafeteria of Bishop Neumann High School; she was depressed and frequently teased.
March 22, 2001 Granite Hills, Calif.	One teacher and three students wounded by Jason Hoffman, 18, at Granite Hills High School. A policeman shot and wounded Hoffman.
March 30, 2001 Gary, Ind.	One student killed by Donald R. Burt, Jr., a 17-year-old student who had been expelled from Lew Wallace High School.
Nov. 12, 2001 Caro, Mich.	Chris Buschbacher, 17, took two hostages at the Caro Learning Center before killing himself.
Jan. 15, 2002 New York, N.Y.	A teenager wounded two students at Martin Luther King Jr. High School.
April 14, 2003 New Orleans, La.	One 15-year-old killed, and three students wounded at John McDonogh High School by gunfire from four teenagers (none were students at the school). The motive was gang-related.
April 24, 2003 Red Lion, Pa.	James Sheets, 14, killed principal Eugene Segro of Red Lion Area Junior High School before killing himself.
Sept. 24, 2003 Cold Spring, Minn.	Two students are killed at Rocori High School by John Jason McLaughlin, 15.
March 21, 2005 Red Lake, Minn.	Jeff Weise, 16, killed grandfather and companion, then arrived at school where he killed a teacher, a security guard, 5 students, and finally himself, leaving a total of 10 dead.
Nov. 8, 2005 Jacksboro, Tenn.	One 15-year-old shot and killed an assistant principal at Campbell County High School and seriously wounded two other administrators.

Edit: Did you notice the shooting that happened the day after this one? A kid walked into school and shot his principal 5 times. Why is this fucking possible?

Trent Reznor: Defiant

Jones Day represents Nine Inch Nails. Such a hardcore individual railing against the system.

Keanu Reeves: Prophecy Fulfilled

I'm incredibly aware that my blog posts are increasingly irrelevant, useless, and stupid drivel that I just sort of toss out without much thought...but I lack the energy for a long extended post about what's really going on in my life until after this week's interviews.

However, events so far have included...
--Human Rights advocacy training/project
--International Law Journal meeting
--3 interviews, 3 to go this week.
--Not sleeping.

In the meanwhile, this will tide you over...


Now you may ask why I've posted this Bill and Ted's poster. I may have said this before, but I would just like to point out that if you look in between Keanu's legs (shut up), you will see the foreshadowing of his glory.

That's Correct. He is the One. Could there be any doubt?

(Of course I didn't discover this on my own, but I do feel the need to pass on metaphysical truths about the universe and its relationship with Keanu Reeves.)

Drinking...Camelot 2004 Pinot Noir. Tastes like wine.

Barbarians.

I take utmost satisfaction in the fact that every Chinese legal text I've read in the past week involving early interactions between China and the West have consistently referred to white people as "barbarians." The phrase is not used as an insult, it is not used maliciously, and it is not some sort of defense/offense mechanism that they are using for contentious purposes. It's just their understanding of the West. Just as we would say "oh...look at that cute puppy!" if we saw a baby dog, they would say "oh...rook! It's a barbarian!" if they saw a white person.

(The professor pointed out that another commonly used phrase was "Hairy Barbarians")

Glub Glub.

My god I'm fucking drowning in busy.

And instead of doing work, researching firms, and sleeping...I'm instead posting to you that I'm NOT doing those things. I am the best.

Da Weekend.

This past weekend was awesome. Great to see friends again, nice to have actual conversations, and so good to be back in st. louis. To everyone I saw, you rock. Unfortunately, I am fucked for tomorrow and the day after, with 3 interviews and 6 classes, and being on call. So, I'll be back...but this week is going to be nasty. I think I have 6 or 7 interviews, all taking place after 5-6 p.m. after all my classes...with monstrously large firms. Jai-normous. So I'll post then, after the first round of interviews.

Rickshaw.

My professor just referred to an ancient chinese proto-lawyer as "an ambulance chaser. Or I guess a rickshaw chaser."

Drinking: A wine with 15 names on it and I'm not entirely sure which name is which. It is Campo de Boria, Crucillon, Tinto Red Wine 2005. It's a Grenache from Spain. In any case, I'm drunk and I just finished the last half of my International trade class drunk.
I've also drunk an inordinate amount of caffeine-free diet coke in the evenings because I'm sick of water and still want something to drink.

Good Reads: Tony Blair's Speech 8/1/06

Once again I give the same general warning that these "good reads" may not be interesting to you at all, but they caught my eye and I thought that I would share them, given the opportunities. Ignore from here on out at will.

I think it just shocks me that world leaders actually speak in such well-reasoned ideas in the public discourse and that even though the speech is not perfect...that it offers a vision so different than the one we've seen in the past 6 years...one that I can believe in. A view neither too idealistic for reality nor too hegemonic for a sense of moral comfort. It's so sad to realize how easily I've been driven into the hands of the political machines in operation in this country and even sadder that we don't have people to speak at even this basic level of understanding in the public discourse. Anyway...it's just a speech excerpt about the Lebanon crisis. It might not raise the hair on your necks, it might not seem like anything more than the general politicking, and it may not seem like it really says anything...but I believe something as simple as declaring that Africa's poverty "is shameful" to the West is quite astounding...

"We will continue to do all we can to halt the hostilities. But once that has happened, we must commit ourselves to a complete renaissance of our strategy to defeat those that threaten us. There is an arc of extremism now stretching across the Middle East and touching, with increasing definition, countries far outside that region. To defeat it will need an alliance of moderation, that paints a different future in which Muslim, Jew and Christian; Arab and Western; wealthy and developing nations can make progress in peace and harmony with each other. My argument to you today is this: we will not win the battle against this global extremism unless we win it at the level of values as much as force, unless we show we are even-handed, fair and just in our application of those values to the world...

Unless we re-appraise our strategy, unless we revitalise the broader global agenda on poverty, climate change, trade, and in respect of the Middle East, bend every sinew of our will to making peace between Israel and Palestine, we will not win. And this is a battle we must win.

What is happening today out in the Middle East, in Afghanistan and beyond is an elemental struggle about the values that will shape our future.

It is in part a struggle between what I will call Reactionary Islam and Moderate, Mainstream Islam. But its implications go far wider. We are fighting a war, but not just against terrorism but about how the world should govern itself in the early 21st century, about global values...

We only win people to [our] positions if our policy is not just about interests but about values, not just about what is necessary but about what is right.

Which brings me to my final reflection about US policy. My advice is: always be in the lead, always at the forefront, always engaged in building alliances, in reaching out, in showing that whereas unilateral action can never be ruled out, it is not the preference.

How we get a sensible, balanced but effective framework to tackle climate change after the Kyoto Protocol expires in 2012 should be an American priority. America wants a low-carbon economy; it is investing heavily in clean technology; it needs China and India to grow substantially. The world is ready for a new start here. Lead it. The same is true for the WTO talks, now precariously in the balance; or for Africa, whose poverty is shameful. If we are championing the cause of development in Africa, it is right in itself but it is also sending the message of moral purpose, that reinforces our value system as credible in all other aspects of policy.

It serves one other objective. There is a risk that the world, after the Cold War, goes back to a global policy based on spheres of influence. Think ahead. Think China, within 20 or 30 years, surely the world's other super-power. Think Russia and its precious energy reserves. Think India. I believe all of these great emerging powers want a benign relationship with the West. But I also believe that the stronger and more appealing our world-view is, the more it is seen as based not just on power but on justice, the easier it will be for us to shape the future in which Europe and the US will no longer, economically or politically, be transcendant. Long before then, we want Moderate, Mainstream Islam to triumph over Reactionary Islam.

That is why I say this struggle is one about values. Our values are worth struggling for. They represent humanity's progress throughout the ages and at each point we have had to fight for them and defend them. As a new age beckons, it is time to fight for them again."

Islam = Peace

So here we have part of Pope Benedict's Speech that inflamed the middle east.

Muslims, and some Christians, across the region have expressed anger over comments Benedict made Tuesday in Germany where he cited the words of 14th century Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus, who said everything the Prophet Muhammad brought was evil “such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

The anger of course, was implying that Islam was tainted by violence...The Response?

Al-Qaida militants in Iraq vowed war on “worshippers of the cross” and protesters burned a papal effigy on Monday over Pope Benedict’s comments on Islam, while Western churchmen and statesmen tried to calm passions.

“We tell the worshipper of the cross (the pope) that you and the West will be defeated, as is the case in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya,” said a Web statement by the Mujahideen Shura Council, an umbrella group led by Iraq’s branch of al-Qaida.

“We shall break the cross and spill the wine ... God will (help) Muslims to conquer Rome ... (May) God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money and descendants the bounty of the mujahideen,” said the statement, posted on Sunday on an Internet site often used by al-Qaida and other militant groups.

......I don't even get it. I'm not even sure how that makes ANY sense.

The Nexus of the Waters.

It concerns me that while I fill up my water bottle at the fountain outside the bathroom that the loud flushing sound is accompanied by a fluctuation in the amount of water being dispensed into my bottle.

Also, I will be back in town this weekend (9/21-9/24)...and I was thinking about a good ol' fashioned grill out/dinner because the weather here generally sucks and I want to get a nice breath of fall and warmth before I return to soggy, dreary boston. My thought was after Happy-Hour on Friday, maybe 7 or 8-ish. Any takers or objectors?

Holy Shit I Suck at Accounting.

Before I begin, I might as well give respect to Derick and Nik, two accountant buddies of mine. Maybe your minds work differently than mine, but I simply cannot, for the life of me, get a grip on this accounting shit. It is driving me up the wall. It takes me like 6 hours to figure out what to do with something like "Pays Rent for 2 months." It seems overly complicated to me...something about crediting the cash account for the rent, then debiting the Deferred Rent costs for one month, and then crediting the Rent expense account for one month...or something. It is just driving me crazy. The T-Accounts, the balance sheet, the income statement...I mean...it has literally been two days of class and I am already completely befuddled. I thought I came to law school because I was bad at math and thought I had found something I was good at...apparently not. My mind simply cannot grasp logical mathetical relationships as simple as adding and subtracting. Holy shit.

Anyway...that's that.

This past weekend was fantastic, even though I didn't get much work done. Ashley came up from New York for...40 hours or so and it was a whirlwind. We went to Harvard Square for dinner, watched Scrubs on my computer, had a fantastic brunch down the street, got new furniture, new toys for my apartment, and redesigned my apartment in many ways...went all kinds of shopping...

The real "highlight" of the whole redecorating excursions though...was Ikea. Have you people been to Ikea before? It's fucking RIDICULOUS! We spent about 30 hours in the store just trying to figure out what to get...and we got SO TIRED. The place is enormous, like a self-contained interior decorating country/museum. I could NOT believe how much stuff there was, and how varied the goods were, and how unbelievably cheap almost everything in that store was. I simply don't understand how Ikea survives with the obvious enormity of its overhead costs, and the super-low prices...They seem to undercut even Wal-Mart pricing, except with goods that would almost certainly be priced at 15 or 20 times higher. I got a catalog from Crate and Barrel that lists rugs as costing over 300 dollars a piece. Meanwhile, I bought 4 plants, a coffee table, a side table, new glass ware, a wine rack, spice jars, a spice rack, an orchid, vases for the orchids, a new lamp, a clock, and 4 wine glasses, among other things...for less than 200 dollars. Unreal. For the boring lameasses in you, I've included pictures.

This is my desk area. Notice the tree on the upper left, the bamboo and cut flowers on the right, and all the clutter. There's really not much that's interesting about this picture except you just get a view of my apartment.






This is just a shot to demonstrate that I now possess a white orchid, two paintings from an Indian kid, and a wall.











This picture on the right is the main shot of my room. New coffee table in the middle, black microfiber couch, bookshelves, chinese paintings, television (that seems like it should be much much larger..maybe I'll go for like a 90 inch flatscreen) and all that jazz. Once again, boring, mundane, and all that bullshit, but this is where I live. deal with it.
This is probably my favorite part...which is my teeny-tiny kitchen. Yes the stove is small, yes the countertop is small, clearly there's not enough room for ANYTHING....BUT...necessity being the mother of invention...I totally dig the spice rack (complements of Ikea and Ashley) full of brightly brightly colored Indian spices, and all the pots and pans and implements hanging from my cabinets.






So that's that. My apartment as of 2 weeks. I'd say it's not a bad start, considering that I've just started at a brand new law school, that I don't understand what's going on in any of my classes, that I've lost the will to have any real life, and that my future is very slowly circling the drain.


Now for my life...Clearly I'm in a state of conflict. Do I want to be a lawyer? (no) What kind of lawyer do I want to be? (no.) Am i going to work for a large corporate law firm in NYC anyway after my second year? (apparently yes) Will I work for a firm any better than i would have worked for from Wash U? (no) Do I have any idea where this path is going? (no)

But I do still unequivocally find myself drawn to the intersection of international politics, poverty, development, law, human rights, and economics. These are things that...taken together...I sincerely enjoy. It's really just the study of the entire world I guess, and I find that interesting. Increasingly, however, I find that my complete lack of mathematical analytical skills necessary for economics and finance/business completely preclude me from doing those things I enjoy the most. And it's not for a lack of effort. It's seriously that my mind can NOT absorb mathematical relationships. It's the exact same mental mind block that gets thrown up when someone speaks in a double negative (or in LawLaw land, triple or quadruple negative.) I just ain't suited so good for it. So chances are I'll end up at a firm and be an attorney for awhile, give up, and realize that my real passion is cleaning. (seriously, I actually would put down "cleaning my apartment" as a hobby on my resume if I wouldn't be laughed out of the room.)

Drinking: Two Buck Chuck (which actually costs 3 dollars). As always...quality, at least quality for a wine that costs about as much as water. As you can probably tell, I'm a little drunk right now...been polishing off the left over from last night...so I'm gonna go ahead and stop rambling and post something better tomorrow.

Chinese People...Damn.

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The Fall of My Discontent

Incredibly lame for the title of the post, I understand...but I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that you probably don't even know what lame cliche/reference I'm making with the title. But who cares?

The main idea is that I'm fairly discontented with my move here to Cambridge. I don't feel like I made a good decision, and I don't think I'm actually any better off here than I was where I was happy...where things were good...and where life actually seemed worth living. I'm under the impression that all of the jobs I could have gotten at Wash U are out of my reach from Harvard because I'm now competing with 550 other Harvard students for the same jobs...and I don't have grades. I'm a big fat zero who barely qualifies as a Harvard student. I'm a technicality. (Of course they tell us that we'll be fine...but I don't think I came here to be "fine.")

Of course it's only been 10 days, so I guess I could give it a chance.

All things considered though, the past two weeks have been an isolating and lonely experience. Apart from the careful indifference of general interactions up here, I find myself not actually wanting to be out socializing. I feel a sense of anxiety and dread when I imagine attending a transfer function, and I actually get apprehensive checking my email because I don't want to find out that there is some sort of get together of transfers. And it's not because the transfers aren't nice people, it's just that I hate this specific type of effort...of meeting new people. Of struggling and fighting to build relationships with large groups of people whose natural inclination is to break off into their own pods of comfort zones...when you know deep down you probably don't have any real connection with them. I dunno. I've always suffered from mild to severe forms of social anxiety, and I feel like I've always just somehow fallen in with the right people and have been ok. This time, I feel the combined weight of social anxiety, fear, indifference, exhaustion, and bitterness all coalescing into this unstoppable force that has made me basically stay in my apartment and watch TV instead of going out with new people. And that's that. Since classes don't really start until tomorrow, I guess things really haven't started yet.

It'll be more accurate and more fair to post more about this in a few weeks instead of now...By that time I will have seen Ashley, classes will have started, I will have begun playing in a flag football team, I will have returned to St. Louis, and maybe I will have met some friends. Until then...things are just sorta depressing. And the only reason I really use that word is because I feel completely unwilling and unable to do anything about it.

Good Reads: Law School

I'm going to start posting the things I read that catch my eye...that strike me...that impress me...that do any sort of thing to my psyche when I read them...Everytime something strikes me, I copy, paste, and stick it in a word document I've entitled "Good Reads" (I'm actually on Good Reads 3 by now...and chances are the name was probably in my subconscious from the Food Network show "Good Eats.")

I'm going to start posting these things every once in awhile...both because I want a reason to read some of them again, and I also hope that you would enjoy reading them too, at least a little.

But if not...Simply ignore all of the posts entitled "Good Reads."

Letter to a Young Law Student
Don't go to law school: But if you must, take my advice.
By Dahlia Lithwick

I started law school 10 years ago this week. While you may be aware that I consider the law to be mostly very funny, I take law school pretty seriously. When I started law school I had no idea what I was in for: maybe some hybrid of debate camp and LA Law. In actual fact, for me, law school was a cross between boot camp and a cave.

Some small fraction of every incoming One-L class is comprised of people destined to take the legal world by storm. These are the people who intend to get straight A's, outline every case, make law review, clerk for a Reagan appointee, and spend the rest of their days in a leviathan corporate law firm where they will do whatever it is that's done in such places. These are the people law school was built for: people who think in zero-sum terms about everything—grades, jobs, and salaries. I wish them the very best of luck for the next three years. This advice is not for them.

This advice for the rest of you—who applied to law school simply because you took the LSATs, and who took the LSATs simply because the MCATs were too hard. This advice is for the people who graduated college with the generalized sense that they ought to be doing good works on this planet but were uncertain how to go about it. In short, this advice is for those of you who, like me, went to law school hoping that the experience would be stimulating and/or mind-expanding; a liberal-arts grad school for political people. Because you are doubtless trying to memorize the "blue book" this week, this advice is pre-outlined for your convenience.

A. Know Why You Are Going

1. As noted, the majority of people who get swept up into the law schools of North America are there as a result of inertia, career confusion, or some combination of both, and not a searing passion for drafting complex discovery motions. But that same inertia that swept you into law school may just sweep you into a corporate career in which you never had any interest. If you're at law school because you burn to work at a big firm, or because teaching torts cranks you beyond all imagining, have at it. But if you're there because your dad dressed you in Michigan Law footie-pajamas, or you love writing, or you vaguely hope to do something about the rainforest, you'll want to work hard to avoid being sucked into the screaming centripetal force that is the corporate law firm.
2. So, write yourself a letter. Quick, while you still can write. Write it, seal it, and then open it at graduation. Tell your post-law-school self what you'd hoped to do with that J.D. Acknowledge that you'll leave law school with huge loans, but you knew that going in. Tell yourself that if you take a job you hate in three years to pay off loans that don't exist until now, you'll emerge in 10 years in the same place you are today. Only balding.

B. Know Why You Are Not Going

1. If there is one law of law-school thinking it's this: "If everyone else wants something, I must want it, too." Not since the days of the Tonka backhoe and Malibu Skipper will you have so lunged for stuff in which you have no real interest, just because everyone else is lunging. Law school manages to impose odd new values on virtually everyone. And each step of the way, law students make choices—to interview with certain firms, take certain classes, apply for certain clerkships—based on an impoverished sense of other options and the fear that other people will get all the good stuff if you don't grab it. This is hard advice to give and harder, I expect, to take. Fear and conformity dig some pretty deep paths at law school. Don't just follow because they are there.
2. Ignore your grades. I mean it. Recognize that you will take some class pass/fail, study from the Nutshell the night before the test, and get an A, whereas you will outline some other class to within an inch of your life, teach a clinic on it, create an outline used by students for the next 70 years, and still get a C+ on the final. Why are all laws of intellectual physics so utterly upended at law school? Hell if I know. Something to do with forests and trees. But my advice is to just ignore the grades. Send 'em home and have your parents call you if you failed something. You will get a job. They don't matter. (Warning: If you don't look at your grades for two years, do not go back after graduation and ask that your con law professor change that C+ to an A. She will laugh very hard and tell you it's a "badge of honor.")

C. Have a Life

1. Someone in my One-L class rendered me semi-autistic in the first semester of law school by suggesting that I'd probably flunk out because I used an orange highlighter. The only person stupider than the moron who said that was me—I changed highlighters. No matter what your original values and habits would dictate, within a matter of weeks you'll be convinced that outlining every case, sucking up to every professor, and spending every non-class hour in the library are the only ways to survive, and that suffering is somehow rewarding and character-building. Mmm. Maybe if you're a pilgrim.
2. I had, for the first six months of law school, only one vector. I traveled from the dorms to the law school. After breakfast in the dorms I went to class in the law library, and from there I went to dinner in the dorms, which led inexorably to an evening in the law library. Another trench—leading from my bed to the law buildings—from which I was too freaked out to climb out. Somehow one night I ended up in some courtyard in the pouring rain, and then there was a Rodin sculpture and after that, the moon, and I went home and read some Shelley. The next day I felt like I'd gone on a three-week crack bender. Or like I'd had the best conjugal visit ever. Get out. Go to movies. Volunteer someplace. Make friends with the people at Starbucks. Get drunk but kiss someone when you're actually sober. Do anything to remind yourself that there is a life out there, and that missing one night of reading will not turn you into someone who lives in a garment box under the freeway.

All this advice is probably extreme and excessive. Your parents will probably set my house on fire for providing it. But read it anyhow. And think about it. Life is short. Misery is overrated. If law school is what you really want, then do it as yourself and not as if you were in a movie about Harvard men in the 1920s. Learn, question, make a precious lifelong friend, ignore the guy in the bow tie, and smile at the people hunger-striking for the ninth consecutive cause. Use an orange highlighter. Dig your own path. You may pop out in the moonlight. You'll probably be a better lawyer for it.

I WIN!

There has been a distinct memory of mine where I got into a large scale, full on battle of epic proportions at some point last year. The issue? Whether Matthew McConaughey has abnormally short arms. My emphatic arguments were greeted with skepticism and scorn (and probably a mild , but misguided suspicion of homoeroticism)...but today I have prevailed. My good friend Ms. Guy has sent me a link to someone elses blog making the same damned conclusion. And two voices together, both proclaiming the shortness of another man's arms, clearly have the strength to break down city walls and prevail.

http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2006/09/matthew_mcconau.html

Matthew McConaughey has stubby and short arms. Period. * Gavel Bangs *

The First Day: Harvard Style

Well today was my first day of class at Hahvahd Law School, so I figure I’ll follow up my morning with a post about it and some observations (along with an irritatingly unhelpful narration).

I went to bed at 2:30 last night. My reasons were good, namely caught up in a great conversation that I was unable to let go of, and because I hadn’t done my 44-page reading as well as I had hoped (ie. super-gunner style, 3 times, highlighted, margin-briefed, and with typed booknotes.) So I was a little concerned about that, considering that my class was at 8:15, that the walk to school takes 25 minutes, and that I hadn’t slept well the night before. Luckily, I awoke at 6:30 am, slid out of bed with only a mild feeling of misery, put on a full cup of coffee, and did some quick reading before trudging off to class listening to the Muse cd with my large, unhip, headphones, and even more unhip cd player (which has batteries held in by a combination of cellophane tape and a broken chopstick).

The professor was fantastic. She’s young, intelligent, and seems to want us to learn and enjoy the material rather than scaring the shit out of us. The class was International Trade, a 2 hour lecture, which today was a dense, but interesting look at the same shit I’ve done in three separate economics classes…free trade, comparative advantage, and the reasons why we don’t actually have free trade. Nothing spectacular, although I did gain an insight that I will address in the next post. I figure I’ll be discussing some world issues or academic things on the blog too, hopefully to sharpen my ideas and get into some conversation eventually, which means feel free to respond…but chances are I’ll be talking to myself…as usual.

So…how was the first Harvard class…well the kids are definitely sharp. At least the ones who spoke. But then again, the kids who spoke today were clearly economics majors or econ specialists of some sort randomly spouting off shit about Pareto Efficiency and things of that nature. I didn’t feel terribly overwhelmed by the stuff that came out of their mouths, and thus far, the lecture didn’t make me feel stupid…so that’s a definite plus.

The thing I really noticed though, is that everyone who spoke today, and most of the students in the class were foreign. Random Euro kids, a bunch of Indians, a Chinese Muslim, several Africans, one black dude who spoke better Chinese than me, several Asians, and a couple of normal white kids. I don’t know why that is…whether it’s because it’s an international trade class…or because the make-up here is just that diverse. We shall see as I go to other classes…

Two things of note that really impressed me.

1) Outside the classroom, in the hallway, were huge tanks of Coffee with all the necessary coffee fixins so that we can just step outside the classroom and grab a cup of coffee. Nice.

2) The library I’m in now is incredible. The carrels are enormous with desk space at least 5’ x 3’ with ergonomic, soft, adjustable swivel chairs that rock, literally and colloquially. I got into a fight with A last night about the importance of work environment, claiming it wasn’t important. Once again, she was right, and I’m a douche for always fighting with her.

I’m in the library now…just preparing to read my 60+ pages for international trade before lunch. So I’m gonna go do that.

Oh yeah, and for the curious…my classes are as follows…
--Corporations
--International Trade
--Comparative Law: The Role of Law in Chinese Society
--Accounting (Pass/Fail)
--Whoredom in the Corporate World: My Seeming Descent into Something Very Wrong.

I’ll post later tonight.

Drinking: Nothing. Harvard requires we use special, distributed spill-proof cups in the library and I don't have mine.

Why We Fight and Steve Irwin

Those two things actually have nothing in common, but it's safe to say that they probably sum up the past 24 hours or so. That and eating like 6 meals.

I would suggest to everyone to watch Why We Fight though. Although most documentarians irritate me, or take an idea to an extreme, or don't really have well-balanced views that I can actually get on board with, I was quite impressed with the documentary and, frankly, a little bit shocked about how all these pieces of the world slowly were cobbled together in my head to form a more cohesive idea about the nature of capitalism, government and governance. Of course the whole documentary is just his personal thesis on the nature of the military industrial complex...but it was incredibly fascinating and eye-opening. As entertainment and education, I'd probably put it on par with reading Fast Food Nation or Nickel and Dimed. In either case. Two yellow, chinese, thumbs up, and a recommendation if not an imperative to go get it. It's really quite something.

My personal life is probably just more depressing than anything else. Made no friends, done nothing outside my apartment, becoming increasingly distant from the idea of law school and being social...and stuff like that. I don't know what it is, but i'm not sure I have the energy in my to do this again. Not school or studying or anything like that, but to start over again with a whole group of strangers. If you consider my recent history, I've spent the last 4 years of my life in entirely new places. I started at Duke, then went to India, then to Wash U, and now to Harvard. Each one has been great so far, but I just don't know if I have the desire or energy to do it anymore. My lust for life doesn't include meeting tons of new people and being thrown into uncomfortable social situations. My lust for life means being around old friends or people that I am comfortable with and care about, and enjoying their company. In any case, hopefully things slowly change and I decide to take control and actually go out and meet people...but at this rate, i'll probably just be sitting in my apartment feeling bad about the Crocodile Hunter being dead.

I did, however, go to a Red Sox game with my old pal Gini yesterday. The 2 o'clock game was rain delayed until about 5, and we watched 3 innings (including me scarfing down a foot long hot dog!), got bored of the impending rain delay, felt sick of sitting in misting rain (which had never even stopped in the 4 hours I was outside)...and went to an Indian restaurant to have dinner (which incidentally sucked. Why is it that no ethnic restaurants in the entire country have ever been able to capture the flavors of their home countries? Americans can't make baguettes, our cheeses can't mature, indian food is all punjabi and second rate, chinese food isn't even remotely chinese, and on and on and on. It's something I've never understood, and would very much like an answer to than "it's the water.)

School starts in two days, so the posting should start picking up and becoming at least somewhat interesting. It's equally possible that it will drop off precipitously as I get sucked into school and find myself increasingly bored and boring. (Law school DOES make it impossible to talk about anything but the law doesn't it?) But chances are it will increase. Maybe we can get into all out fights about legal doctrine.

Edit: Actually, this intransience seems to be a trend in my life. Although only spread across two cities, my transition from elementary school to high school took place over 4 years in 4 different schools in 2 cities on opposite sides of the mason dixon line.

Edit 2: Post fuckers!! Or at least post something like "still a douchebag..." just to give me some feel for whether I'm talking purely to myself or at least passably communicating something.

(New Addition: I may start posting whatever I'm drinking, listening to, watching, or whatever usually belongs in this spot....)

Drinking: the Little Penguin Vintage 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon. Surprisingly good. Not terribly subtle, and a little sweeter up front than I had expected...but I'm actually enjoying it. Of course someone will declare me a philistine and uncouth bastard who doesn't know shit about wine for praising a 7 dollar mass-produced bottle of wine...but then I'll just nod my head, agree, sip, and slowly begin turning red.

Nothing to Report.

There's really nothing to say in the psat two days because nothing has really happened. Basically...

--Bought a microfiber blue/black couch. Bitchin.
--Going to a Chinese market with my mother and loading up on Chinese stuff
--Watching the Weather Man (surprisingly good movie)
--Watching Scrubs
--Missing my woman
--Watching Weeds
--Eating Asian food at Asian restaurants
--Cleaning and deocrating the apartment
--Touring random Harvard museums and libraries with my parents
--Having a long (probably 3 hour) political discussion with my father about the state of Black America, the Middle East, Oil Policy, Raising Children, Immigration, and my avoidance of the Chinese community
--Ate some grapes
--Ate half a pear
--Missing my woman
--Had Dunkin Donuts (Score!)
--Ate an entire tupperware of chocolate chip cookies
--Ate 3 more cookies out of the second tupperware
--Ate a Dunkin Donuts cookie
--Ate my mother's oatmeal cookie
--Thinking about eating more cookies
--Missing my woman

Apparently all I really need is a giant cookie bed with my woman on it and life would be grand.

I'll post more as things begin to happen, but seriously, that's all I did for two days. No friends, no events, nothing of any real importance. Just living my life with a dearth of love and an abundance of sweets.

Decorating the Apartment: Rawjer Sakker Style.

By Rawjer Sakker style, i clearly mean frugally. And by frugally, I clearly mean Jew. (It's so odd to actually write that down and publish it because it seems so much more offensive in print than it does to yell it at the kid sitting next to you in your car.)

In either case, today was a full, but yet again boring day. I went to register at the law school today (officially making me a Harvard student apparently), and then spent the entire day driving around Boston looking for various pieces of furniture and goodies. Got myself 3 bookcases, a nice office chair, a bed stand, elevating bricks for my bed, shower curtains, etc. (I bet you that none of you actually read that list of things. I almost fell asleep just writing them down.)

After all that I ended up getting a call from my Derick Albers wholesome doppleganger here that the transfers were going out for a drink at "John Harvard's" (I konw...can you believe it?) and I went and had two wonderfully rich black-as-tar Porters and made a few friends. I've discovered that two of my co-transfers also have committed significant others in the place they just left and that they are (like me) trying very hard to keep these crucial relationships in place as they move into this new space in their lives. So, as it appears, we have sort of a men's support group for "guys who don't want to fuck/meet random women" and would like to continue their current relationships. Snoogins.

I also bought a webcam. So if you would like a Chinese Male Striptease or know anyone who does...send over 5 bucks and get yourself an eyeful.