The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.

Updated List:
1) The Shell Game (name withheld for national security purposes)
2) Cereus Blooms at Midnight (Sarah)
3) Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (Hsien) (Complete!)
4) Then We Came to the End (M.)
5) Working Stiff (MH)
6) Down and Out in Paris and London (Haubenreich)
7) Atlas Shrugged (RS)
8) White Castle (Korobi)
9) Catch-22 (tentative)

So I have now made it through the first suggestion in this little list I've compiled. I will begin by explaining how I managed to finish this book during a weekend where I spent every waking minute surrounded by the "Bulletworthies" (i.e., friends I would take a bullet for, though probably in the leg or something) or engaged in reckless drinking, celebration, and joyous fun you forgot was possible after 3 years of law school.

The answer is this: Sitting on a plane next to an overweight-balding man who greets you immediately upon sitting down with a very friendly hello, and attempts to engage you in an in-depth discussion about anything and everything. In this case, after trying to probe my history and legal education, I learned he was in the air conditioning business. Despite my general lust for life and desire to fill my mind with all the knowledge the world can offer me, I do NOT give a shit about air conditioners. I would also like to note that I am not one of those people who has this general hatred for people who strike up conversations on airplanes, and expresses the conventional distaste for all those folks...I just had no interest whatsoever in talking to this man. Thus, as SOON as a stewardess came by to ask him about his food preferences, I immediately opened my book and did not emerge from this alternate reality until the plane had landed, at which point I looked at him brightly and engaged in a lively 4 minute conversation about IP law and air conditioners.
On the smug, smarm-o-meter, this book registers quite low, which is excellent. On the sweeping grand American novel, this book registers quite high. On the readability, I give it an 8 out of 10. On incidence of Jews (RS!), I give it a 9 out of 10. And, on its ability to strike you dumb with the sudden appearance of jaw-dropping one-liners and profound truths about love, life, humanity, and the deep inner workings of each of our souls...I'm going to have to give it a 3, because it's really not that kind of book. (On that count, for some reason Middlesex, On Beauty, and Death in Venice seem to stick in my head.)

In short, I thoroughly enjoyed it the way I enjoy a big sweeping period piece film...it's interesting, it's extremely well done, it's got heart, it's got presence of mind, it soars and careens, it teaches and it engages, and the scope and breadth clearly show that author's imagination is firing on all cylinders. And even though it's not food for the soul, it is a damn good read.

I'm really very lame about fiction, art, and life in general, so I attempt any sort of "book review." As it turns out, I tend to have terrible taste in films, music, books, art, wine, food, cigars, and anything else that has any sort of elite following. Either I don't understand it, or I just lack the capacity to appreciate it (e.g., my allergies will always prevent me from being a "super taster" that can appreciate food and wine in certain ways.) So in short, even if I love things, and understand to myself why it is I love them, I am often not able to articulate what it is that struck me without using too many "verys" "reallys" "awesomes" "interesting" "beautifuls" and "seriouslys."

In sum, however, this book is really very awesome. The language and story are sweeping, magnificent and beautiful in their own special way. The story itself, weaving the golden age of comics, the Holocaust, and the intricacies of relationships is really quite interesting. In short, I strongly recommend "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay" by Michael Chabon. Seriously.

On to The Shell Game!

Wowee.

For fear of trying to encapsulate (and thus limiting) such a singular moment in my life, I'll just say that I have just had three of the most incredible and beautiful days of my entire life...which is strange considering that this was someone else's wedding. A weekend of witnessing and experiencing such immense joy and awe that I have been reduced to tears and rendered speechless (except, of course, for this little post).

omg.

Please Respond! Really. No seriously.

Update: The list, in order, thus far...

1) J's suggestion.
2) Sarah's ONE suggestion.
3) Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
4) Then We Came to the End
5) Working Stiff
6) Down and Out in Paris and London
7) Atlas Shrugged

It's that time of the year again...That's right, those short little periods of my life where I'm not in school! And that means...I will be reading books again!

During a drink with a couple of classmates after the last exam, we somehow got into a long discussion about a couple of books that we really liked, and ended up just having one of those really great conversations with people you don't really know. What came out of it was a string of emails where we suggested books to each other. (To get it out of the way, my initial suggestions, which erred heavily on the safe side, were Bel Canto by Anna Patchett (a million thanks for that one, M.!), God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, and The Omnivore's Dilemma just for good measure.) (one of them promptly read Bel Canto in two days and fell in love with it.)

So, the first suggestion I got was What is the What by Dave Eggers. I have to say, this was among the more intense books I've read, and I recommend it to anyone who is looking for a worthwhile book to pick up (and hasn't read any of my initial suggestions). I don't really have anything interesting to comment about it, except that if you're wary of Dave Eggers because you're generally irritated by the Jonathan-Safran-Foer-Dave-Eggers-Nicole-Krauss-or-who-the-hell-ever-contemporary-literary-star smarminess and over cleverness, that is NOT an issue that I encountered with this book at all. (No, I haven't read any other Eggers. I only read one Foer book and thought it sucked. And I couldn't finish Krauss' novel even after reading half of it.)

The second suggestion I got was Snow by Orhan Pamuk. I will start that next.

(For the record, I've been reading off-and-on The Echo Maker by Richard Powers, The Sportswriter by Richard Ford, and The Emperor's Children by Claire Messud. All three novels are supposed to be spectacular -- all three novels have not been able to draw me in thus far, and have become of the victim of Iread70pagesofit3monthsagoandprobablywon'ttryagainitis. It's a tragic disease.

That brings me to my real point in all of this: I would like your book suggestions! Hopefully I will gather enough suggestions from friends so that I won't have to waste any time with shitty books. I'm going to assume for the moment that you are at least a little bit like me, and always like it when other people share in something you love...so here's the sweetener: I promise I will read the book you suggest.

So here are the "rules" which I'm laying out only to avoid possible abuses, mostly by RS. (yeah, that's right, bitch.)

1) You must have read the book yourself.
2) You must have enjoyed the book.
3) You may only suggest one book.
4) Don't be a dick.

I know that no one really comes online or checks this anymore now that school's out, but even if you stumble across this post much later, please post your suggestion anyway, because I am notified whenever someone comments.

Cool. Thanks. This is my gratitude expressed in celebration.
And yes, I am that far off the ground. Although we have (badly) deliberately tried to hide the fact that I am leaping off of a huge rock onto the sand, the fact that I would do so so recklessly from such a height is cool enough for me to come clean about it.

Phew!

Just spent a weekend at a "beach" house at Cape Cod. It was pure gluttony, drinking, fun, no sun (it was Massachussetts), and other shenanigans. I'll post more about it later if the mood strikes me. I'm exhausted.

...And Congrats the few of you who have cleared the Gauntlet! (that's insane.)

And, of course...

My crusade continues...

If this chart isn't perfectly consistent with your understanding of your diet, I once again suggest you read "The Omnivore's Dilemma."

And I continue my promise to buy the book from you after you read 100 pages if you don't like it...Seriously. Go.

Edit: Asthma at half-mast.

Proud.

Two reasons.

1) The 110+ page paper on Hong Kong is complete. Law school is over.
2) I finally like my Facebook profile picture.

Bastard Covered Bastards with Bastard on Top

Do you think it would be rude if the last thing I said to him was...?
"Hey, I'm glad I got to work with you. Working with you taught me that life is unfair."

Allow me to give you a few of hundreds of memorable exchanges during my year with him, and I'm quoting from the emails:

[email after going through 15 pages of his garbage]

Me: So you said that the lowest percentage in 5 years was in 2002, which you say was ABOVE 30%. I just did the calculation and it was 27.5%. (1600/5800). What happened? Am I missing something?
Him: I did not do precise calculation, just calculate by heart.

(pause.) (?!??!?!?!) (unpause.)

Me: What does that MEAN? Calculate BY HEART? You have two numbers in front of you and you made a guess?
Him: it is not a guess. just rough calculation.
Me: Why are you making rough calculations when the numbers are in front of you?
Him: I think I only need the trend, not the precise number.
Me: But that's the point. The trend was incorrect. You made a broad claim that didn't require precision, but even the broad claim was wrong.

[my first whiff of plagiarism in drafting a textbook chapter]

Me: I'm finally looking at the new draft for your section. It is 100% different from the section you gave me last semester that I spent hours and edited, revised, and used and now you have given me something that is half as long, and entirely different.
Him: My second draft is a response to your request of writing in my own words. The first draft is just direct collection of information from someone's book, if you have revised it in a way that make it appear to be your own work, I think you can use the version you revised.
Me: Wait, so the first draft you gave me was actually COMPLETELY copied from the book? (awestruck) I don't understand how that is possible.
Him: The first draft is collection of information, and the second draft is paraphrasing and summarizing. I understand this two-step work is what we are expected to do: "Something between" as you said. I never think the first-step work can be used for public purpose. It was given to you in a hasty manner and expected to need additional work.
Me: [Struck dumb]

[my second whiff of plagiarism for ANOTHER paper I had to do with him]

Me: I am looking through your write up on the [agency]. Much of it is identical to the webpage and it is not properly quoted or attributed. This is plagiarism, and we can be kicked out of school for this, and prevented from joining the bar. This is a VERY serious problem. Are other sections of your paper also directly taken from sources without quotations, without direct citation, and without direct paraphrasing?
Him: [sends back badly paraphrased passage with a general webpage link]
Me: You must provide the ACTUAL LINK. You cannot expect people to surf the web page until they find it. Send the ACTUAL link.
Him: [FAILS.]

[third whiff]

Me: You have to be honest with me. I just found another section in the paper that is directly cut and pasted from article that you did not tell me about. I now have to rewrite that entire section that was YOUR responsibility in the FALL. Even where it is cut and pasted it is NOT complete. You need to tell me exactly where you have lifted text from other papers. It is unacceptable for me to be continuing to find plagiarism all over the paper.
Him: it is a surprise to me. I reviewed this part twice. I will get back to you later.
Him: I guess the section you mentioned is the part included below. I guess a citation is lost for this part. I did not check that but it is possible. I tried to review and revise all the parts I wrote from early April and I think I did that, because I almost rewrote my part. In fact I did rewrite the whole HKex part, and reviewed other parts I wrote and revised substantially accordingly. But the writing period is a year long long and not continuous, sometimes I have to rely on my memory. and sometimes some citation may be lost in editing... [note, no this doesn't make sense]....anyway, I rewrite that part. [sends a large body of text in the email with a citation]
Me: Actually, that's the wrong citation, and it's not even that section, but it is the section after that. Almost the entire section is directly lifted. [yes, he did the wrong section and sent the wrong citation.]

Truly and without exaggeration, these snippets are the ice cube sized tip of the Titanic sinking iceberg. Over the course of this year I have discovered entire passages of plagiarism lifted off of websites, articles, and textbooks. The parts that were not plagiarized were incomprehensible English. I had to work with him ALL year on TWO separate projects, both 70-80 page research projects on the Chinese and Hong Kong financial systems. I discovered in MARCH that everything I had ever received from him was useless, plagiarized, or flatly made up. The problem is...is that he actually believes he is doing good work. So the harder I whip him, the more CRAP I get from him. I HATE working with him. So I just end up verbally abusing him...ultimately provoking this response after I continue to help him out with his own work.

Me: Please respond as precisely as you can when you receive my questions to your revisions, particularly because I am only doing this tonight because you specifically asked me to review your portions for your LLM requirement.
Him: I truly appreciate that. sometimes I felt like to grab a knife to kill myself when we were communicating.

Three Months!

Yes, yes, it IS tiresome to get updated about my (non) smoking habits, but I posted it up here to make public my shame or success, and I shall continue because you suck.

First we start with statistics...

• On April 5, I smoked half a cigarette I picked up off the floor of the hotel room at 5 am after 10 hours of eating, drinking, taking shots, drinking, getting contact buzzed, and more drinking at a bachelor party. And that was it. It usually only takes a single cigarette to unwind months and months of non-smoking...
• I have also smoked two cigars. I do not consider cigars to be a problem.
  
• 899.5 cigarettes have now gone unsmoked. That's 44.95 packs of cigarettes unsmoked.
  
• $360 dollars saved, which I guess has now gone towards hippie vegetables.
  
• And, if myth has merit, I have regained somewhere between 135 to 164 hours of my life back...nearly a week of extra anti-Asian racism this world gets to experience.
  
• I've managed to run approximately 40 miles since then, and lost I think...10 pounds despite the uptick in alcohol consumption. And yes, socially and celebratory...
  

Ok, song of myself ended, gloating over for another month. heh. Now fuck you. I have to go write a paper about Hong Kong's securities markets, and figure out how not to lose my mind in dark black-tar hatred of all people from Mainland China.....

McCain and Hillary's Gas Tax.

I've considered the McCain gas tax holiday proposal to be stupid from the moment I heard it. In short, McCain's "economic" policy has been to remove the federal excise taxes on gasoline during the summer months. I don't think I need to explain why this is retarded, unless for some reason you see some rationality behind artificially spurring energy consumption during a period where it is more than clear that encouraging Americans to use more oil is not good policy. (I suspect I'm going to hear some reason explained, probably by RS, but I will go ahead and pre-empt you by saying "NO, WRONG.") But then...Hillary Clinton decided to adopt the policy in her platform. Wtf.

Anyhow, I somehow steered onto Greg Mankiw's blog...he's an economist at Harvard, and he summed up the political aspect of the issue quite concisely, so I'll use his words.

Many economic issues (e.g., health care, corporate taxation, the trade deficit) are vastly complicated, with experts holding a variety of opinions. When candidates disagree, it simply means that each is siding with a different set of experts, and it is hard for laymen to figure out which set of experts is right. By contrast, the gas tax holiday is not nearly as complicated, and the experts speak with one voice.

Why, then, are candidates proposing the holiday? I can think of three hypotheses:

Ignorance: They don't know that the consensus of experts is opposed.

Hubris: They know the experts are opposed, but they think they know better.

Mendacity with a dash of condescension: They know the experts are opposed, and they secretly agree, but they think they can win some votes by pulling the wool over the eyes of an ill-informed electorate.

So which of these three hypotheses is right? I don't know, but whichever it is, it says a lot about the character of the candidates.

ALLERGIES ARE HELL.

WHY!!?!??!!?

This is not amusing. Shouldn't evolution have weeded me out by now? Or is that what it's doing? CUZ YOU'RE DOING A DAMNED GOOD FUCKING JOB!



See? Even my run had to be cut short....because apparently I have some sort of seasonal asthma that makes it very hard to breathe. What the fuck!?

Final Final!

I have finished my final final exam!!!!!!!!!

I do have a paper left, but fuck it.

I am rightfully fucking hammered. Salut!
Actually this is more accurate.


(i.e., nails get hammered)

Questions for a Nixonian Reaganite.

RS,

I keep running into people who seem to share your enumerated first principles that seem to anchor your worldview and shape your political leanings, and I've been mulling them over. So in continuation of our last discussion, I want to reiterate one question and ask you another.

1) Distinguish your economic model from Darwinism.
2) Explain why slavery is objectionable, and not reflective of a market wage.

You're free to bring in alternative moral theories (which I think is probably absolutely necessary), or I suppose, stack your moral theories in some sort of hierarchy to make sense of it. I tend to think, though, that introducing almost any set of moral philosophy or principles (outside of Objectivism) will force you to untether yourself from your foundational principles.

You can email me your response if you don't want to do it bloggy style (yes, I am very aware that made you uncomfortable).

Experiment.

I have an experiment for you: Type in ANY common white female first name into Google Images. (For the moment, lets ignore the fanciful foreign names.)

Was anyone able to find ANY name that didn't automatically result in some hardcore porn or nudity on the first page? I'll buy a round for the first person who can find me some fairly normal female name that will bring up a child-friendly page of results.

(I discovered this sad fact after typing in "Katrina" to find pictures of post-hurricane devastation only to discover, while in the library, an entire page of porn splashed across my screen. No pun intended.)


P.S.
Yesterday's episode of Fresh Air (NPR interview show) featured Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. (If you don't know who they are, then you won't be interested.)

It has come to this....

My boredom and exhaustion from tax cramming has led me to movie commentary. And not real movie commentary, mind you, but commentary about THIS:



The truth is, I'm actually sort of excited. Not because it's about the Hulk. I never read the Hulk, I never had interest in the Hulk, and the Hulk movie made by one of my people (Taiwanese Ang Lee) was a total piece of ass. No, I think I'm excited purely because Edward Norton is the Hulk. And I don't even know why. I just think that's awesome. Plus, Tim Roth has a movie role again...which is fantastic since the only thing I really remember him for is Quentin Tarantino movies from my high school days. Admittedly the movie looks shitty, minus the Edward Norton, but I don't think I care all that much.

That's all. My tax exam sucked.

I post a lot when it's exam period...

...and my guess is that people read a lot less when they are out of school. (I myself don't even like checking my email during the holidays...it just bores me to sit in front of a computer.)

In any case, I just wanted a more positive note than "I can't stand Chinese people"...and say that I have bought a share in a CSA (community supported agriculture). (CSAs are basically local farms that you can buy a share in a farm and get the fruits of the harvest...as well as sharing the risk of good/bad harvests.) That basically means that I will be receiving a fresh delivery of vegetables from a local farm once a week, depending on what the harvest is during the season. (I think it's leafier greens in early summer, and then bigger produce as summer heat sets in, and then a move to more root veggies as fall rolls around.) I know the farm produces arugula, corn, potatoes, beans, tomatoes, eggplants, fennel, beets, radishes, carrots, squash, broccoli rabe, baby lettuce, mustard greens, and apparently so many herbs that can't be used. It also has an orchard, but I'm not sure it's producing yet.

Given my penchant for eating everything in my apartment once evening rolls around, combined with my desire to eat healthier and cook with more variety (which I will be forced to do), and the free time I should have this summer, I think this'll be great. It comes to about 15 dollars a week (paid in advance). As an example, here is what the large share got in one of the weeks last year (22.50 a week).

• 24 ears corn
• 11 white potatoes (~ 2.5#)
• 8 hefty tomatoes (~3#)
• 2 yellow squash
• 2 bunches arugula
• 2 bags baby lettuce
• 1 bag green beans (over a pound)
• 1 bunch radishes
• 1 bunch mustard greens (I think?)
• 1 large, stunning eggplant

I didn't really remember what a CSA was until earlier this year when Sarah told me she had bought a share in a meat (and milk?) CSA. In any case, I'm very excited about this.

...And yes, in the past month of changing dietary habits, I do consume a LOT more fruits and vegetables than before. So it's not simply stocking up on foods I hope to eat. (and no, I'm not a fucking hippie. Shut up. Asshole.)

Drinking the Kool-Aid.

Those of you who have spoken with me in the past year have probably been exposed to my feelings towards individuals from Mainland China, specifically my partner in writing two papers, but more generally about the vast majority of Chinese I have spoken to about political matters. Since this forum is at least mildly public, and it's probably a bad idea for me to rant and rave about an entire nation...I'm going to generally refrain. And clearly, despite my penchant for self-direct racist humor, this has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with a national culture. Besides my very bitter personal experience with an individual, I'm just going to refer to you two things.

1) What my Chinese partner posted on my facebook wall. I have heard multiple references to this on talk radio from Chinese students, and on campus. Ask any of your PRC friends about this.


2) An article in the NY Times today that is absolutely consistent with everything I have been encountering recently. (No, I don't really care about the political situation in Tibet...so that has nothing to do with my feelings on what's happening.)

I'll just say this:

The chances are very high that I will now withdraw myself from my earlier plans of working in and with China in the coming years because of the bitterness and disconnection I feel with so many of the people from the Mainland I've encountered in recent years.

I am enraged. I am frustrated. I am bitter. And I am disappointed. Ugh.

I initially was going to post a single Ben Stein quotation, and ended up with this.

Ex post edit: Unless you care about my political views (and I'm quite certain you don't)...this is addressed (at least formally) to RS.

I found a passage today which drives home the exact point I made in my last response to you about how I perceive the conservative argument for free markets and deregulation:

The markets are like a well-designed clock: so well-designed, in fact, that there's no need for oil for the gears because friction doesn't exist, and there's no need for blue prints and adjustments because it just so happens that spontaneous well-functioning clocks result from the natural design of the universe.

(yes, I rephrased it, fuck you) The passage that echoes that sentiment comes from Ben Stein reflecting upon the subprime meltdown. I present it because I would think you generally would agree with his economic views...and won't automatically shut him out (I mean, he was one of Nixon's speechwriters and remains one of his greatest defenders...)

One truth, that deregulation is sometimes a good thing, has been followed down so long and winding a road that it has led to an immense lie: that deregulation carried to an extreme will not lead to calamity.

...I think he says it much better than me. And I would ally myself with him completely on this point. Do you disagree with his assertion?

As a side note, I did notice one thing during our recent exchange: I do have strong philosophical and intellectual attraction to many of the concepts embodied in economic conservatism, free markets, and individual freedom. I would actually consider myself a Burkean Conservative (though I'm gonna ask that you not push me too much on that quite yet as I get more acquainted with the idea.) I also feel that federalism has its merits and should be protected (yes, I will admit discomfort with Roe v. Wade on a purely Constitutional and structural basis, despite the fact that I think overturning it would be a monstrosity). I believe that local governance makes sense for many issues, and that a well-functioning community of communities is preferable to a centralized stateist regime.

BUT...ultimately my loyalty lies with human beings and the individual experience, joy, and suffering of other people. My loyalty is not to ideas despite their temptations of an elegance and ease in which I can rationally rest my faith and be comforted by easy truths. This is why when I am presented with the choice between "5% GDP growth, unemployment, dislocation, and suffering" VERSUS "3% GDP growth, employment, sustainability, political and economic stability, and opportunity for individuals to find happiness," I will always choose the 3% and a better society. And yes, I do think these are the choices. The past 7 years have shown that the 5% growth and massive growths in inequality are inextricably intertwined. And that choice does not reject Adam Smith, but embraces him and asks how to make it work in this world.

...Once again, I'm not sure how I got off on that tangent (which I suspect is the wine)...because I do have a point, the point is this:

No matter how much I can respect certain conservative principles, whenever I encounter a Republican conservative, I am always so utterly shocked, aghast, and appalled by the things that come out of their mouths. Even if I know I can dig deep and find shared principles (less government = more freedom), the presentation, tenor, and violent contradictions just drive me bat-shit crazy. It's infuriating because there are wonderful ideas buried underneath a layer of !Blargh! that I simply cannot comprehend or get past. That's all. That was the point.

(...and btw, my exposure to Obama's speeches on faith, economics, politics and the like all seem to reflect these precise sentiments (at least until very recent turmoil) which I have never heard from a politician. The recent political veering and swerving (i.e., protectionism when he's always been fairly free trade) makes me uneasy, but I do believe he shares my core perspectives. And I think a lot of younger liberals share a similar perspective ("mitigated" free markets and individual freedom), which is why I called you out on intellectual dishonesty in trying to compare modern liberalism to stateist socialists.)

...ok. That's all. I'm going to bed so I can study more Tax tomorrow. Drunk blogging is a stupid, stupid idea.

Karl Rove's Advice to Obama.

Damn...Karl Rove is very good at what he does. Here's a piece he wrote for Newsweek which seems to me to give startling insight into what Obama has done wrong and needs to do. I'm trying to find some sort of nefarious theme running beneath it that actually helps the Republicans...but it doesn't really seem to be there...

Anyhow, I thought it was 3-5 minutes excellently spent.


Also.....Holy shit. I knew Beijing was doing lots of building and preparation for the Olympics, but these really are some magnificent buildings. I'm a little stunned actually. (click on the link, and there should be a little slide show thing on the right that links to the pictures.)

My New Love is...

The Splendid Table Podcast!

I don't know how many of you listen to NPR...but I'm someone that has it on all the time. When I wake up in the morning, I flip on the NPR and listen to the news while I shower and get ready for class. When I go to bed, I flip on the NPR and listen to it while I go through my go-to-bed routine. When I had a car, I was probably 50-50 with music and NPR, depending on my mood for the moment. Generally, I like shows like "Talk of the Nation," "All Things Considered," and "On Point," "Day to Day," and "Marketplace" where I can get my news fix and learn some interesting things. (Incidentally, I am also extremely bad with silence or being unoccupied, like I can't even brush my teeth without reading something or listening to the radio...thus, NPR.) On the weekends, NPR can be a little shittier. Although I can listen to "Click and Clack," I simply cannot stand "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" which seems to be on at ALL hours on the weekends, or Garrison Keillor stuff....just not a fan. (Not sure how I got off on listing my favorite NPR shows...)

Anyway, to wrap up, I do love "This American Life" and "The Splendid Table" but I never really know when they're on. I used to remember driving around on Sundays and getting super excited if I happened to be in the car during "The Splendid Table"...which is more or less a deeper version of Food Network for the radio.

Even I'm bored now...so in conclusion, I figured out what Podcasts were about a month ago and now I have the new episode of The Splendid Table on my iPod that I can listen to whenever I want (which is quite often given my distance from school, my lack of a car, and my reliance on public transportation for all other travel.) That's all. End of post. Hope you enjoyed it.

Done!

Everyone else already had this feeling like last week, but I'm done! No more law school class ever again!

*Smiles*

...and then I went running.

Current Playlist: Bon Iver

Typically I don't get into "Man and his Acoustic Guitar" music all that much, but I somehow stumbled onto this random dude, Bon Iver, a couple of months ago (?) and decided to buy his album on iTunes. I was quite unimpressed the first few listen throughs, but as with almost all the music I end up becoming attached to, it grew on me and kept on creeping into my playlist until it became one of my dailies.

The basic story is that this dude was going through some rough times with his band, girlfriend, life...whatever...and then locked himself in a cabin in Wisconsin by himself for 3 months with an guitar and some ratty old recording equipment...and emerged with this album "For Emma, Forever Ago." Chances are 1) you will not click on these songs, and 2) if you do, you will not like it. (I actually think I've only had like one friend who shared most of my musical preferences...and I'm not sure why all of my music has tended to the entirely lighter side these days...except that I'm just trying to "quiet things down" internally these days.)







But...I figured posting this was better than reading about how to differentiate capital gains from ordinary income under §1221 of the Tax Code.

For those of you who have played Guitar Hero III...

...you will recognize this quotation: This truth.

20 minute free-form jazz odysseys are not ok.
(...even if you are, technically, a jazz band.)

So tonight, all by my lonesome, I took a study break and paid 20 bucks to go see Bjorkestra at Sculler's Jazz Club, an 18-piece jazz band covering Bjork songs. So, there I was...20 dollars poorer, surrounded by random middle aged people in sport's coats, lesbians, and tons of people that had no business witnessing either 1) jazz or 2) Bjork. They opened with the Overture to Dancer in the Dark. For a brass band, it was pitch perfect. Chills ran up my spine. Which led immediately into a cover of Hyperballad. (here's a clip of another recording...I assume only for Sarah, if anyone...)


And I thought Hyperballad was fantastic. The chills and reverie continued, and I began to pick up on choices Bjork had made that just made he love her more...but then something happened after the first chorus (which also takes place in the video above at 1:30). A saxophonist stood up and began to just riff and solo. and solo. and solo. and solo. (in the video, the solo ends almost 4 minutes later.) And the solo stripped away the entire essence of the song.
Bjork disappeared entirely. And random white guy with saxophone was the only thing that was left. He could have been playing anything. In fact, he was playing anything. Just a string of soulless high-speed notes.

And every. single. song. was interrupted by a 5-10 minute solo by one of the bandmembers. Each as irrelevant to the song as the next. Each as a-melodic as the last. Each seemingly a petty self-indulgence.

Now comes the dirty secret. Though I've always liked vocal jazz. But I never could connect with the bulk of instrumental jazz. And for the same reason I could never connect with Phish. I simply have no interest in watching 99% of musicians "jamming" and coming up with music on the fly (with the exception of drummers.) It just drives me crazy. Now there are some moments and musicians where spontaneity, energy, passion, and brilliance combine into sublime aural moments that connect the musician to the listener, and every person in the room. And those moments are amazing. But it's rare. And the rest of these jam sessions just bore the shit out of me and make me hate the jammer who has spent 9 and 1/2 minutes wasting my life with a mindless, soulless string of notes that happens to fall in the right keys. (J: Can you provide any insight? I know we have entirely entirely different tastes in music...but I simply don't get this....absent a large dose of LSD.)

Anyway, after hearing Bjork re-interpreted by someone else, I have come to rediscover what is so utterly amazing about that woman...and will probably be on my 15th cycle of Bjork-rediscovery for the next few months.

Review: 2 stars out of 5.
The 30% of the bjork was excellent.
The 60% of middle aged white jazz solos was not.
The 10% being the fact that middle aged white jazz folks dedicated so much time to appreciating such an amazing artist.

Quote of the Day of Bjork:
You can't say no to hope
Can't say no to happiness
I want to go on a mountain-top
With a radio and good batteries
And play a joyous tune and
Free the human race
From suffering

For the one of you (awesome human beings) who knows Bjork, the setlist was:
Overture
Hyperballad
Show Me Forgiveness (right?)
Army of Me
I Go Humble (seriously?)
Enjoy
Cocoon (though not at all)
Joga
Hunter
Human Behaviour
Alarm Call
It's Oh So Quiet (obviously)

Sigh...

Clinton by 10% after resorting to mudslinging, pandering, and negativity. Exactly what the democrats don't need right now...

My question is this: Does anyone else find the "My Candidate or I stay home or McCain" Democrats to be infuriating? What the hell?

Procrastinating.

I surfed over to the Economist and found this nice, reassuring little picture about the food crisis. I also listened to more about it today on the radio, and it's a lot more complicated and perfect storm-y than I had previously understood. Apparently, beyond oil prices ($118 today btw, up from $10 in 1999), there have been two drought years in a row in several agricultural countries with low yields, speculation on the commodities and futures, distortionary diversion of agriculture to biofuels, and substantial increases in demand for meat from China and India. (demand for meat being a problem because it takes 4 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of chicken, 7 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef, thus driving up prices for grain).


Supa fly! You know what would fix this? Yep. The same thing that fixes homosexuality and Islamofascism: Jesus, deregulation, and free markets.

(I would be writing more about what I'm doing in my life rather than offering useless news summaries, but really I'm just sitting in the library studying tax every. single. day. Happy Earth Day.)

And this must be incorrect. We ran much further at a MUCH higher pace. Something is wrong.

Advertising.

So I was chilling with Nik over spring break watching television, sippin on Sierra Nevada, and basically shooting the shit about career paths in the soulful regions of law and accounting when this wonderful commercial came on.



So, you may ask, what the hell are you talking about? The commercial is actually sorta fucked up, you might say. It's not even remotely interesting. In fact, it's the world's third-largest corporation, an oil company, advertising some bull-shit about the very clean sustainable energy that would undermine its profits and cut into its enormous margins on oil. True. But it offers a moment that I would like to call: Seriously? That made it through?

So witness 0:39 in the commercial. In the midst of well-composed scenes of life meant to connect to the viewer and evoke moments of reflection comes a very scientific diagram, and it's quite simple: "geothermal = earth's heat" and a simple line on the diagram indicating "magma".

Now this may not be as gut bustingly funny to you as it was to us, but we sorta sat there and thought through the making of this commercial. I mean, Chevron is a BIG corporation with a LOT of smart, ruthless, calculating people. Big Oil is also very image conscious, so they must hire the best of the best advertising people (as is demonstrated by the quality of the rest of the ad). Plus, they must endlessly vet these things to make sure this is the right image they want to put out in the world. So from the very bottom creative teams, through the partners of the advertising firm, through to the marketing divisions of Big Oil, and probably in front of the eyes of some senior execs...passed the geothermal = earth's heat / magma diagram.

And if the words weren't there to begin with, but the diagram was, then at some point during the process...someone stopped everyone else and said "hey, guys...wait...this diagram might be confusing if we don't label it...it just looks like a bunch of random lines." At which point some other college grad says "I got it!" and writes "geothermal = earth's heat" and then writes the word "magma" and draws a line. And then everyone else in the room makes tentative eye contact with someone else...and everyone slowly nods in approval, until the room bursts forth in applause.

All that, or man these companies think that we are just a bunch of stupid turds.

(Nik: I really just wanted to see this commercial again, and I figured you did too. haha.)

I fuckin LOVE Spring time!

Sure sure...Summer is fun. Fall overflows with memories and reflection. Winters are both dreary and always remind me of love. But Spring. Man, I fuckin' LOVE spring.

I've never really felt this way in the past, so I imagine it has something to do with Boston being a total shithole for 9 months out of the year...but when spring time rolls around I am just SO happy. I put on headphones and ride my crappy bike all around town listening to embarrassing music...

(If you've ever wanted to challenge my masculinity, you will NEVER EVER have a better chance than this. This is on my playlist now. Though I s'pose it's not too much of a drift from Bjork...)

...while I swerve rhythmically into traffic as I bike-dance...

...I walk around Harvard square for the first time in months without wanting to kick someone in the face just for breathing...

...I actually tilt my face upwards to bask in the sunlight in my own version of phototropism as I walk, somewhat blindly, through crowded campus walkways...

...I check the weather and triumphantly proclaim "LOOK! 64 degrees! We HAVE to go running!"...

...I refuse to study for exams and stare out the window at people coming around and trees leaving (that was for you RS)...

...I order iced coffee for the first time in 9 months...

...and all sorts of other things I don't feel like listing...because it's really not that interesting. Just awesome.

Seriously though, I think Spring has got to be the coolest fucking thing EVER. All those crazy dogwoods and cherry blossoms and flowering trees exploding in crazy colors for like 2 short weeks...and leaves with a glowing and translucent greenness that almost breathes with intensity.

Of course, the flipside is that any minute now my allergies are going to make me want to sever my own congested head off with a chainsaw and my final set of exams are around the corner, damning me to spend the next two weeks buried in the deepest inky corners of Langdell Library instead of lying on a large rock somewhere in the sun listening to ridiculous 80's covers like this (by Bird and the Bee)



...but being totally happy.

(you can ignore whatever lame photo montage the video maker put together for this song...and click on it anyway...and yes. I still listen to normal music. You fuckin' bastard.)

The Exhibition.

So, in support of my buddy from high school (but more because it's fucking awesome) from whom I purchased Perambula, pictured immediately below...I've decided to inject his inspiration into my blog where folks will generally be earning sufficient disposable income, craving deeper exposure to things that do not resemble stacks of papers and binder clips, and want to remember that the world contains more colors than a five-pack of highlighters. For the rest of you non-lawyerly types, I think you'd like this anyway. And for those of you lawyers and corporate types (yes, you Nik) who suck less than me, maybe you will too.

Perambula (MINE!)

Anyhow, I've taken some samples from my artist buddy's Facebook profile and pasted them below. Some general interest in buying his work has been aroused amongst some of my friends who have seen Perambula, and I figured I would pass some of his work along to you just in case you have the urge to support an extremely talented artist who happens to be a kickass dude. And, more importantly, find legitimate things from your wall that did not come from Bed Bath and Beyond, or R.I.P., Linens N' Things. He's working on price lists for me, so if you are interested in commissioning a piece, I know he'd be thrilled to have the extra business.

Also, just for reference...he is flexible on what he paints. You can give him text, music, or anything that you want to use as the basis/inspiration for a piece, or you can just tell him to do whatever the hell he wants (which I told him to do, with a comment that I like the abstract fractally stuffof.) Basically he is very accommodating to whatever your desires may be. For example, you'll notice that the pieces below obviously had something to do with James Joyce's Ulysses, or at least so I assume. (Ulysses having episodes named Lestrygonians, Cyclops, Proteus...and Ulysses' wife being named...Penelope.) I'm not sure if he was asked to read that book or anything, but I think these were commissioned by some Irish folk who took them back. Anyhow, here is a smattering of his work...

Joyce: Lestrygonians
Joyce: Proteus

Joyce: Circe

Joyce: Cyclops
Joyce: Penelope

Joyce: Ithaca

Angry Seussian Proboscis Roadtrip
Bibliographic Intercourse
Crawdad Hummingbird (working title) (oil on wood panel)
Hot v. Cold
Importance (oil on wood panel)
Memorial
Refuse Dept.
Series 4x4
Still Life
Supermodel Gait
Unicycle
Weepy Young Devotchka

P.S. - 5.0 miles, 9:09 per mile, 45:52 minutes, 792 Calories.

Courtesy of Drembonix.

If you don't know who Drembonix is...then you don't know life. But she sent me this. And it is AWESOME.


Mario Theme Played with RC Car and Bottles - Watch more free videos

Faildogs.

Just want to make sure of something real quick...you have all seen faildogs, right? Take the time.

Uh. This is kinda scary.

Did anyone else see this NYTimes story? It's the one about the wave of bankruptcies striking at retail chains.

For some reason the fact that a wave of bankruptcies is going to take down Linens N' Things is oddly frightening. I'm not that disturbed the shuttering of Zales diamond dealers, or Sharper Image...but...there's just something about Linens N' Things going down that makes me nervous.

I can't say that I had any particular affinity for the store, or that I even really shopped there...but those are the types of stores that make up the landscape of American Suburbia. Forget the anti-corporatist, anti-consumerist bent for just a moment...because for better or worse, that's what our communities look like all over the country. The idea of big, empty and isolated Big Box stores, dead shopping centers, and empty spaces in malls is...eesh.

Let me just sum up off the top of my head:

• Oil is hovering around $100 a barrel. In 2000, it was $22. And when oil prices go up, the price of everything goes up. Every one of those big rigs will be paying 5 times as much to drive across country. Every boat in our extraordinarily liberalized trade patterns will experienced skyrocketing energy prices. The cost of fertilizer (manufactured from natural gas) goes up, and thus the price of corn, grain, rice, soy, and all crops experience increased costs. The cost of grain needed to feed animals for meat goes up then too. And then we're back full circle when the food needs to be transported. Food riots have begun in the developing world. We are now facing a food crisis.
  
• So lets meander slightly from oil, and look to our own transportation and city planning. The entire infrastructure of America after 1950 was premised on oil costs being cheaper than water. So we built highways, roads, and made it the American dream to all own our own houses, and all drive our own cars to get anywhere. We took advantage of the low costs of oil to expand our economies to seek greater efficiencies within and outside of our borders. It doesn't make sense to ship a T-shirt from China to South Carolina...unless of course oil is 20 bucks a barrel. (I don't mean any of this as a condemnation...it's just sorta scary now looking back and seeing the hole we've dug.) So this is our way of life.
  
• But now there's another problem. These houses are starting to disappear. Low to moderate income families are beginning to be swallowed alive by mortgages they can't afford, and defaults are sweeping across the country. The suburbs are beginning to lose their shimmer...and they may even grow into slums as the cities have begun to reattract the propertied classes. (The link is to an article in the Atlantic dissecting the implication sof the sub-prime crisis on suburban communities which I thought was...well, lets just say very worth reading, if slightly gloomy.)
• (I'm not sure how I got here...I was just going to write like 5 sentences of all the things going wrong at once...and now I'm paragraphs deep.)
• So in the midst of this oil turmoil (heh) shaking the very foundation of our economy, a wave of losses hits the investment banks. JP Morgan, UBS, Citi, Wachovia, Bank of America. The Titans of the Financial System, that is to say, the entirety of our financial system...suddenly have no idea what's going on, what's going to happen, and how to stop it. Chain reactions begin to whiplash across the financial system. Then one of the largest investment banks in the world suddenly decides to implode, losing 10 billion dollars in 6 hours. Bear Stearns, having almost a perfect 85-year history, suddenly disappears. (Note: As these banks wrote down their assets, they had to get money from somewhere to stay alive. Guess where they got lots of that from? Yep. China. Now having direct state-ownership over a large swath of Wall Street.)
• And it's spreading. Maybe it will stop. Maybe it won't. But oil prices remain high. Food prices remain high. The effects of the subprime meltdown continue to unwind with new losses everyday. (GE? UPS?)
  
• And now, Linens N' Things is probably going to file for bankruptcy.
  

But then again, everything could be just fine. I don't have any idea. I think I know just enough to be legitimately scared.

P.S. - I'll buy a beer for anyone who actually made it this far. And actually read that garbage. Not just this sentence.

Advice to a Stupid Asshole.

So I was riding my bike down the street with my tax return paperwork in my pocket in order to mail it out today. When I got home to pick up my W-2s, I discovered that all of my paperwork had blown out of my pocket at some point and into the street.

Thus, my SSN, my address, phone number, and financial information is all floating around in an envelope somewhere in Cambridge. I'm a little bit concerned about what the information can be used for, particularly identity theft.

Anyone have any idea about what I can/should do? Do I just have to start tracking my credit history much more closely? Or what?

I'm sick of being a bicyclist in Boston. I'm ready for a motorcycle or a car. Jesus.

Edit: The Liquor Store found it. Phew!

P.S. Stupid Nike+ Website is not letting me post the cool little graphic, so I just have to do it by hand. 3.7 miles, 32:21, 8:44 per mile, 586 calories, squiggly line. Huzzah!

I love blue skies and sunny days.

This is the sort of blog post that people make fun of the most...because of it's mundanity, lack of content, and degree of self-absorption exuded because how could we possibly think anyone would care? (I don't, but I continue...)

The one thing that Boston makes me really appreciate is Spring. I think I used to take blue skies, sunbeams, and weather above 60 degrees for granted. Now...when I wake up and see blue skies and sun, all I want to do is walk around doing nothing, run errands, smoke cigars outside, take a long run, ignore my studies, and waste lots and lots of time instead of studying.

So that's exactly what I did. I got up, went shopping at my local hippie grocery store, bought some fruit, coffee, pastrami, a bagel, and some smoked whitefish (my new favorite bagel spread learned from my Jewish friends...) and promptly came home and sat in my backyard smoking a left over cigar from the Bachelor party in DC (a nice Davidoff).
After that, I thought...what better way to waste time than to take a run? So...I walked 30 minutes to school to get my running shoes, then walked another 15 minutes to the Charles River,
and took a nice leisurely run, nicely captured by this little box....

Then...I came home and decided to shower, do laundry, blog, and eat some more whitefish instead of doing my work...Plus, I'll be going out tonight, so I basically have an hour to work...despite the crushing pressure of exams.

And that's my life.

P.S. I found this picture of CARVED CRAYONS on Andrew Sullivan's blog. Joey, I think you must a little slow on the uptake if this hasn't appeared yet. (His name is Pete Goldlust)

Game Theory and Single Men.

I've generally resisted posting news articles and other reading material, being under the impression that no one actually reads any of it. (With the exception of RS who will read the political and economic stuff just so he can respond in full force in comments.) For no good reason, I thought this article was sorta interesting, so I decided to post it. I don't necessarily buy it, but it's definitely something I thought was interesting to mull over...

The problem of the eligible bachelor is one of the great riddles of social life. Shouldn't there be about as many highly eligible and appealing men as there are attractive, eligible women?

Actually, no—and here's why. Consider the classic version of the marriage proposal: A woman makes it known that she is open to a proposal, the man proposes, and the woman chooses to say yes or no. The structure of the proposal is not, "I choose you." It is, "Will you choose me?" A woman chooses to receive the question and chooses again once the question is asked.

Obviously, this is simplified—in contemporary life, both sides get plenty of chances to be selective. But as a rough-and-ready model, it's not bad, and it contains a solution to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox.

You can think of this traditional concept of the search for marriage partners as a kind of an auction. In this auction, some women will be more confident of their prospects, others less so. In game-theory terms, you would call the first group "strong bidders" and the second "weak bidders." Your first thought might be that the "strong bidders"—women who (whether because of looks, social ability, or any other reason) are conventionally deemed more of a catch—would consistently win this kind of auction.

But this is not true. In fact, game theory predicts, and empirical studies of auctions bear out, that auctions will often be won by "weak" bidders, who know that they can be outbid and so bid more aggressively, while the "strong" bidders will hold out for a really great deal. You can find a technical discussion of this here. (Be warned: "Bidding Behavior in Asymmetric Auctions" is not for everyone, and I certainly won't claim to have a handle on all the math.) But you can also see how this works intuitively if you just consider that with a lot at stake in getting it right in one shot, it's the women who are confident that they are holding a strong hand who are likely to hold out and wait for the perfect prospect.

This is how you come to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox, which is no longer so paradoxical. The pool of appealing men shrinks as many are married off and taken out of the game, leaving a disproportionate number of men who are notably imperfect (perhaps they are short, socially awkward, underemployed). And at the same time, you get a pool of women weighted toward the attractive, desirable "strong bidders."

Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness.

Patron.

Given the recent bent of my lifestyle, you would think that what I have written above is pronounced Puh-Trone, as in Patron Tequila.

You would be mistaken.

Actually, the word refers to me and should be pronounced Pay-trin, as yes, I have given my vast student loan fortune to the arts and have commissioned my first painting from an up and coming young artist. The working title, thus far, is "Perambula" and it will be delivered to my home sometime quite soon.
(Actually, it's a friend of mine from high school who I recently found on facebook and engaged in a long exchange of mama jokes culminating in "hey dude, how much would you charge me for a painting?" and him saying "uh, 100 bucks?" and then i said "cool. do that." and then he said "that's what your mama said." and then I said "Oohhhhhh! do the painting.")

I'm pretty excited about it actually. Super excited even.

Edit: I haven't given up yet!

Feedback Requested.

I need a professional name, although it may already be too late. Any thoughts? I sorta feel bad throwing my actual name under the bus. I went with my actual name...

Y. Mama
Yo M. Ma
Yo M.
Yo Mama


(P.S. - This past weekend was so fucking awesome.)

Yes, Sarah, I do realize I have now posted my full name on the blog. I will delete this post soon enough.

Edit: Deleted.

Bitch Ass!

Is NOT what I am. I have been challenged by my SF buddy to a "Most Miles in 30 days" challenge. I will prevail. Because I am not a bitchass.

Surprising, but True.

The pre-marinated frozen mahi-mahi from Trader Joe's is actually quite tasty. It's also cheap, easy to make, and quite healthy. I'm definitely going back to the frozen meat and fish section of TJs.

Just thought I'd share, as I eat it for dinner at 2 am while reading an assignment about the Value Added Tax.

New Toy!

So, given the fact that I ran a grand total of like, 3 times, I decided to get a new set of running shoes (since my old ones hurt).

After I saw my buddy's Nike+ system in San Francisco, I couldn't help but run out immediately and get my own. So expect to see random things like THIS posted on my blog from now on.

I consider this particular run pretty impressive given my size, weight, and smoking history.