Experiment.

I have an experiment for you: Type in ANY common white female first name into Google Images. (For the moment, lets ignore the fanciful foreign names.)

Was anyone able to find ANY name that didn't automatically result in some hardcore porn or nudity on the first page? I'll buy a round for the first person who can find me some fairly normal female name that will bring up a child-friendly page of results.

(I discovered this sad fact after typing in "Katrina" to find pictures of post-hurricane devastation only to discover, while in the library, an entire page of porn splashed across my screen. No pun intended.)


P.S.
Yesterday's episode of Fresh Air (NPR interview show) featured Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. (If you don't know who they are, then you won't be interested.)

It has come to this....

My boredom and exhaustion from tax cramming has led me to movie commentary. And not real movie commentary, mind you, but commentary about THIS:



The truth is, I'm actually sort of excited. Not because it's about the Hulk. I never read the Hulk, I never had interest in the Hulk, and the Hulk movie made by one of my people (Taiwanese Ang Lee) was a total piece of ass. No, I think I'm excited purely because Edward Norton is the Hulk. And I don't even know why. I just think that's awesome. Plus, Tim Roth has a movie role again...which is fantastic since the only thing I really remember him for is Quentin Tarantino movies from my high school days. Admittedly the movie looks shitty, minus the Edward Norton, but I don't think I care all that much.

That's all. My tax exam sucked.

I post a lot when it's exam period...

...and my guess is that people read a lot less when they are out of school. (I myself don't even like checking my email during the holidays...it just bores me to sit in front of a computer.)

In any case, I just wanted a more positive note than "I can't stand Chinese people"...and say that I have bought a share in a CSA (community supported agriculture). (CSAs are basically local farms that you can buy a share in a farm and get the fruits of the harvest...as well as sharing the risk of good/bad harvests.) That basically means that I will be receiving a fresh delivery of vegetables from a local farm once a week, depending on what the harvest is during the season. (I think it's leafier greens in early summer, and then bigger produce as summer heat sets in, and then a move to more root veggies as fall rolls around.) I know the farm produces arugula, corn, potatoes, beans, tomatoes, eggplants, fennel, beets, radishes, carrots, squash, broccoli rabe, baby lettuce, mustard greens, and apparently so many herbs that can't be used. It also has an orchard, but I'm not sure it's producing yet.

Given my penchant for eating everything in my apartment once evening rolls around, combined with my desire to eat healthier and cook with more variety (which I will be forced to do), and the free time I should have this summer, I think this'll be great. It comes to about 15 dollars a week (paid in advance). As an example, here is what the large share got in one of the weeks last year (22.50 a week).

• 24 ears corn
• 11 white potatoes (~ 2.5#)
• 8 hefty tomatoes (~3#)
• 2 yellow squash
• 2 bunches arugula
• 2 bags baby lettuce
• 1 bag green beans (over a pound)
• 1 bunch radishes
• 1 bunch mustard greens (I think?)
• 1 large, stunning eggplant

I didn't really remember what a CSA was until earlier this year when Sarah told me she had bought a share in a meat (and milk?) CSA. In any case, I'm very excited about this.

...And yes, in the past month of changing dietary habits, I do consume a LOT more fruits and vegetables than before. So it's not simply stocking up on foods I hope to eat. (and no, I'm not a fucking hippie. Shut up. Asshole.)

Drinking the Kool-Aid.

Those of you who have spoken with me in the past year have probably been exposed to my feelings towards individuals from Mainland China, specifically my partner in writing two papers, but more generally about the vast majority of Chinese I have spoken to about political matters. Since this forum is at least mildly public, and it's probably a bad idea for me to rant and rave about an entire nation...I'm going to generally refrain. And clearly, despite my penchant for self-direct racist humor, this has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with a national culture. Besides my very bitter personal experience with an individual, I'm just going to refer to you two things.

1) What my Chinese partner posted on my facebook wall. I have heard multiple references to this on talk radio from Chinese students, and on campus. Ask any of your PRC friends about this.


2) An article in the NY Times today that is absolutely consistent with everything I have been encountering recently. (No, I don't really care about the political situation in Tibet...so that has nothing to do with my feelings on what's happening.)

I'll just say this:

The chances are very high that I will now withdraw myself from my earlier plans of working in and with China in the coming years because of the bitterness and disconnection I feel with so many of the people from the Mainland I've encountered in recent years.

I am enraged. I am frustrated. I am bitter. And I am disappointed. Ugh.

I initially was going to post a single Ben Stein quotation, and ended up with this.

Ex post edit: Unless you care about my political views (and I'm quite certain you don't)...this is addressed (at least formally) to RS.

I found a passage today which drives home the exact point I made in my last response to you about how I perceive the conservative argument for free markets and deregulation:

The markets are like a well-designed clock: so well-designed, in fact, that there's no need for oil for the gears because friction doesn't exist, and there's no need for blue prints and adjustments because it just so happens that spontaneous well-functioning clocks result from the natural design of the universe.

(yes, I rephrased it, fuck you) The passage that echoes that sentiment comes from Ben Stein reflecting upon the subprime meltdown. I present it because I would think you generally would agree with his economic views...and won't automatically shut him out (I mean, he was one of Nixon's speechwriters and remains one of his greatest defenders...)

One truth, that deregulation is sometimes a good thing, has been followed down so long and winding a road that it has led to an immense lie: that deregulation carried to an extreme will not lead to calamity.

...I think he says it much better than me. And I would ally myself with him completely on this point. Do you disagree with his assertion?

As a side note, I did notice one thing during our recent exchange: I do have strong philosophical and intellectual attraction to many of the concepts embodied in economic conservatism, free markets, and individual freedom. I would actually consider myself a Burkean Conservative (though I'm gonna ask that you not push me too much on that quite yet as I get more acquainted with the idea.) I also feel that federalism has its merits and should be protected (yes, I will admit discomfort with Roe v. Wade on a purely Constitutional and structural basis, despite the fact that I think overturning it would be a monstrosity). I believe that local governance makes sense for many issues, and that a well-functioning community of communities is preferable to a centralized stateist regime.

BUT...ultimately my loyalty lies with human beings and the individual experience, joy, and suffering of other people. My loyalty is not to ideas despite their temptations of an elegance and ease in which I can rationally rest my faith and be comforted by easy truths. This is why when I am presented with the choice between "5% GDP growth, unemployment, dislocation, and suffering" VERSUS "3% GDP growth, employment, sustainability, political and economic stability, and opportunity for individuals to find happiness," I will always choose the 3% and a better society. And yes, I do think these are the choices. The past 7 years have shown that the 5% growth and massive growths in inequality are inextricably intertwined. And that choice does not reject Adam Smith, but embraces him and asks how to make it work in this world.

...Once again, I'm not sure how I got off on that tangent (which I suspect is the wine)...because I do have a point, the point is this:

No matter how much I can respect certain conservative principles, whenever I encounter a Republican conservative, I am always so utterly shocked, aghast, and appalled by the things that come out of their mouths. Even if I know I can dig deep and find shared principles (less government = more freedom), the presentation, tenor, and violent contradictions just drive me bat-shit crazy. It's infuriating because there are wonderful ideas buried underneath a layer of !Blargh! that I simply cannot comprehend or get past. That's all. That was the point.

(...and btw, my exposure to Obama's speeches on faith, economics, politics and the like all seem to reflect these precise sentiments (at least until very recent turmoil) which I have never heard from a politician. The recent political veering and swerving (i.e., protectionism when he's always been fairly free trade) makes me uneasy, but I do believe he shares my core perspectives. And I think a lot of younger liberals share a similar perspective ("mitigated" free markets and individual freedom), which is why I called you out on intellectual dishonesty in trying to compare modern liberalism to stateist socialists.)

...ok. That's all. I'm going to bed so I can study more Tax tomorrow. Drunk blogging is a stupid, stupid idea.

Karl Rove's Advice to Obama.

Damn...Karl Rove is very good at what he does. Here's a piece he wrote for Newsweek which seems to me to give startling insight into what Obama has done wrong and needs to do. I'm trying to find some sort of nefarious theme running beneath it that actually helps the Republicans...but it doesn't really seem to be there...

Anyhow, I thought it was 3-5 minutes excellently spent.


Also.....Holy shit. I knew Beijing was doing lots of building and preparation for the Olympics, but these really are some magnificent buildings. I'm a little stunned actually. (click on the link, and there should be a little slide show thing on the right that links to the pictures.)

My New Love is...

The Splendid Table Podcast!

I don't know how many of you listen to NPR...but I'm someone that has it on all the time. When I wake up in the morning, I flip on the NPR and listen to the news while I shower and get ready for class. When I go to bed, I flip on the NPR and listen to it while I go through my go-to-bed routine. When I had a car, I was probably 50-50 with music and NPR, depending on my mood for the moment. Generally, I like shows like "Talk of the Nation," "All Things Considered," and "On Point," "Day to Day," and "Marketplace" where I can get my news fix and learn some interesting things. (Incidentally, I am also extremely bad with silence or being unoccupied, like I can't even brush my teeth without reading something or listening to the radio...thus, NPR.) On the weekends, NPR can be a little shittier. Although I can listen to "Click and Clack," I simply cannot stand "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" which seems to be on at ALL hours on the weekends, or Garrison Keillor stuff....just not a fan. (Not sure how I got off on listing my favorite NPR shows...)

Anyway, to wrap up, I do love "This American Life" and "The Splendid Table" but I never really know when they're on. I used to remember driving around on Sundays and getting super excited if I happened to be in the car during "The Splendid Table"...which is more or less a deeper version of Food Network for the radio.

Even I'm bored now...so in conclusion, I figured out what Podcasts were about a month ago and now I have the new episode of The Splendid Table on my iPod that I can listen to whenever I want (which is quite often given my distance from school, my lack of a car, and my reliance on public transportation for all other travel.) That's all. End of post. Hope you enjoyed it.

Done!

Everyone else already had this feeling like last week, but I'm done! No more law school class ever again!

*Smiles*

...and then I went running.

Current Playlist: Bon Iver

Typically I don't get into "Man and his Acoustic Guitar" music all that much, but I somehow stumbled onto this random dude, Bon Iver, a couple of months ago (?) and decided to buy his album on iTunes. I was quite unimpressed the first few listen throughs, but as with almost all the music I end up becoming attached to, it grew on me and kept on creeping into my playlist until it became one of my dailies.

The basic story is that this dude was going through some rough times with his band, girlfriend, life...whatever...and then locked himself in a cabin in Wisconsin by himself for 3 months with an guitar and some ratty old recording equipment...and emerged with this album "For Emma, Forever Ago." Chances are 1) you will not click on these songs, and 2) if you do, you will not like it. (I actually think I've only had like one friend who shared most of my musical preferences...and I'm not sure why all of my music has tended to the entirely lighter side these days...except that I'm just trying to "quiet things down" internally these days.)







But...I figured posting this was better than reading about how to differentiate capital gains from ordinary income under §1221 of the Tax Code.

For those of you who have played Guitar Hero III...

...you will recognize this quotation: This truth.

20 minute free-form jazz odysseys are not ok.
(...even if you are, technically, a jazz band.)

So tonight, all by my lonesome, I took a study break and paid 20 bucks to go see Bjorkestra at Sculler's Jazz Club, an 18-piece jazz band covering Bjork songs. So, there I was...20 dollars poorer, surrounded by random middle aged people in sport's coats, lesbians, and tons of people that had no business witnessing either 1) jazz or 2) Bjork. They opened with the Overture to Dancer in the Dark. For a brass band, it was pitch perfect. Chills ran up my spine. Which led immediately into a cover of Hyperballad. (here's a clip of another recording...I assume only for Sarah, if anyone...)


And I thought Hyperballad was fantastic. The chills and reverie continued, and I began to pick up on choices Bjork had made that just made he love her more...but then something happened after the first chorus (which also takes place in the video above at 1:30). A saxophonist stood up and began to just riff and solo. and solo. and solo. and solo. (in the video, the solo ends almost 4 minutes later.) And the solo stripped away the entire essence of the song.
Bjork disappeared entirely. And random white guy with saxophone was the only thing that was left. He could have been playing anything. In fact, he was playing anything. Just a string of soulless high-speed notes.

And every. single. song. was interrupted by a 5-10 minute solo by one of the bandmembers. Each as irrelevant to the song as the next. Each as a-melodic as the last. Each seemingly a petty self-indulgence.

Now comes the dirty secret. Though I've always liked vocal jazz. But I never could connect with the bulk of instrumental jazz. And for the same reason I could never connect with Phish. I simply have no interest in watching 99% of musicians "jamming" and coming up with music on the fly (with the exception of drummers.) It just drives me crazy. Now there are some moments and musicians where spontaneity, energy, passion, and brilliance combine into sublime aural moments that connect the musician to the listener, and every person in the room. And those moments are amazing. But it's rare. And the rest of these jam sessions just bore the shit out of me and make me hate the jammer who has spent 9 and 1/2 minutes wasting my life with a mindless, soulless string of notes that happens to fall in the right keys. (J: Can you provide any insight? I know we have entirely entirely different tastes in music...but I simply don't get this....absent a large dose of LSD.)

Anyway, after hearing Bjork re-interpreted by someone else, I have come to rediscover what is so utterly amazing about that woman...and will probably be on my 15th cycle of Bjork-rediscovery for the next few months.

Review: 2 stars out of 5.
The 30% of the bjork was excellent.
The 60% of middle aged white jazz solos was not.
The 10% being the fact that middle aged white jazz folks dedicated so much time to appreciating such an amazing artist.

Quote of the Day of Bjork:
You can't say no to hope
Can't say no to happiness
I want to go on a mountain-top
With a radio and good batteries
And play a joyous tune and
Free the human race
From suffering

For the one of you (awesome human beings) who knows Bjork, the setlist was:
Overture
Hyperballad
Show Me Forgiveness (right?)
Army of Me
I Go Humble (seriously?)
Enjoy
Cocoon (though not at all)
Joga
Hunter
Human Behaviour
Alarm Call
It's Oh So Quiet (obviously)

Sigh...

Clinton by 10% after resorting to mudslinging, pandering, and negativity. Exactly what the democrats don't need right now...

My question is this: Does anyone else find the "My Candidate or I stay home or McCain" Democrats to be infuriating? What the hell?

Procrastinating.

I surfed over to the Economist and found this nice, reassuring little picture about the food crisis. I also listened to more about it today on the radio, and it's a lot more complicated and perfect storm-y than I had previously understood. Apparently, beyond oil prices ($118 today btw, up from $10 in 1999), there have been two drought years in a row in several agricultural countries with low yields, speculation on the commodities and futures, distortionary diversion of agriculture to biofuels, and substantial increases in demand for meat from China and India. (demand for meat being a problem because it takes 4 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of chicken, 7 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef, thus driving up prices for grain).


Supa fly! You know what would fix this? Yep. The same thing that fixes homosexuality and Islamofascism: Jesus, deregulation, and free markets.

(I would be writing more about what I'm doing in my life rather than offering useless news summaries, but really I'm just sitting in the library studying tax every. single. day. Happy Earth Day.)

And this must be incorrect. We ran much further at a MUCH higher pace. Something is wrong.

Advertising.

So I was chilling with Nik over spring break watching television, sippin on Sierra Nevada, and basically shooting the shit about career paths in the soulful regions of law and accounting when this wonderful commercial came on.



So, you may ask, what the hell are you talking about? The commercial is actually sorta fucked up, you might say. It's not even remotely interesting. In fact, it's the world's third-largest corporation, an oil company, advertising some bull-shit about the very clean sustainable energy that would undermine its profits and cut into its enormous margins on oil. True. But it offers a moment that I would like to call: Seriously? That made it through?

So witness 0:39 in the commercial. In the midst of well-composed scenes of life meant to connect to the viewer and evoke moments of reflection comes a very scientific diagram, and it's quite simple: "geothermal = earth's heat" and a simple line on the diagram indicating "magma".

Now this may not be as gut bustingly funny to you as it was to us, but we sorta sat there and thought through the making of this commercial. I mean, Chevron is a BIG corporation with a LOT of smart, ruthless, calculating people. Big Oil is also very image conscious, so they must hire the best of the best advertising people (as is demonstrated by the quality of the rest of the ad). Plus, they must endlessly vet these things to make sure this is the right image they want to put out in the world. So from the very bottom creative teams, through the partners of the advertising firm, through to the marketing divisions of Big Oil, and probably in front of the eyes of some senior execs...passed the geothermal = earth's heat / magma diagram.

And if the words weren't there to begin with, but the diagram was, then at some point during the process...someone stopped everyone else and said "hey, guys...wait...this diagram might be confusing if we don't label it...it just looks like a bunch of random lines." At which point some other college grad says "I got it!" and writes "geothermal = earth's heat" and then writes the word "magma" and draws a line. And then everyone else in the room makes tentative eye contact with someone else...and everyone slowly nods in approval, until the room bursts forth in applause.

All that, or man these companies think that we are just a bunch of stupid turds.

(Nik: I really just wanted to see this commercial again, and I figured you did too. haha.)

I fuckin LOVE Spring time!

Sure sure...Summer is fun. Fall overflows with memories and reflection. Winters are both dreary and always remind me of love. But Spring. Man, I fuckin' LOVE spring.

I've never really felt this way in the past, so I imagine it has something to do with Boston being a total shithole for 9 months out of the year...but when spring time rolls around I am just SO happy. I put on headphones and ride my crappy bike all around town listening to embarrassing music...

(If you've ever wanted to challenge my masculinity, you will NEVER EVER have a better chance than this. This is on my playlist now. Though I s'pose it's not too much of a drift from Bjork...)

...while I swerve rhythmically into traffic as I bike-dance...

...I walk around Harvard square for the first time in months without wanting to kick someone in the face just for breathing...

...I actually tilt my face upwards to bask in the sunlight in my own version of phototropism as I walk, somewhat blindly, through crowded campus walkways...

...I check the weather and triumphantly proclaim "LOOK! 64 degrees! We HAVE to go running!"...

...I refuse to study for exams and stare out the window at people coming around and trees leaving (that was for you RS)...

...I order iced coffee for the first time in 9 months...

...and all sorts of other things I don't feel like listing...because it's really not that interesting. Just awesome.

Seriously though, I think Spring has got to be the coolest fucking thing EVER. All those crazy dogwoods and cherry blossoms and flowering trees exploding in crazy colors for like 2 short weeks...and leaves with a glowing and translucent greenness that almost breathes with intensity.

Of course, the flipside is that any minute now my allergies are going to make me want to sever my own congested head off with a chainsaw and my final set of exams are around the corner, damning me to spend the next two weeks buried in the deepest inky corners of Langdell Library instead of lying on a large rock somewhere in the sun listening to ridiculous 80's covers like this (by Bird and the Bee)



...but being totally happy.

(you can ignore whatever lame photo montage the video maker put together for this song...and click on it anyway...and yes. I still listen to normal music. You fuckin' bastard.)

The Exhibition.

So, in support of my buddy from high school (but more because it's fucking awesome) from whom I purchased Perambula, pictured immediately below...I've decided to inject his inspiration into my blog where folks will generally be earning sufficient disposable income, craving deeper exposure to things that do not resemble stacks of papers and binder clips, and want to remember that the world contains more colors than a five-pack of highlighters. For the rest of you non-lawyerly types, I think you'd like this anyway. And for those of you lawyers and corporate types (yes, you Nik) who suck less than me, maybe you will too.

Perambula (MINE!)

Anyhow, I've taken some samples from my artist buddy's Facebook profile and pasted them below. Some general interest in buying his work has been aroused amongst some of my friends who have seen Perambula, and I figured I would pass some of his work along to you just in case you have the urge to support an extremely talented artist who happens to be a kickass dude. And, more importantly, find legitimate things from your wall that did not come from Bed Bath and Beyond, or R.I.P., Linens N' Things. He's working on price lists for me, so if you are interested in commissioning a piece, I know he'd be thrilled to have the extra business.

Also, just for reference...he is flexible on what he paints. You can give him text, music, or anything that you want to use as the basis/inspiration for a piece, or you can just tell him to do whatever the hell he wants (which I told him to do, with a comment that I like the abstract fractally stuffof.) Basically he is very accommodating to whatever your desires may be. For example, you'll notice that the pieces below obviously had something to do with James Joyce's Ulysses, or at least so I assume. (Ulysses having episodes named Lestrygonians, Cyclops, Proteus...and Ulysses' wife being named...Penelope.) I'm not sure if he was asked to read that book or anything, but I think these were commissioned by some Irish folk who took them back. Anyhow, here is a smattering of his work...

Joyce: Lestrygonians
Joyce: Proteus

Joyce: Circe

Joyce: Cyclops
Joyce: Penelope

Joyce: Ithaca

Angry Seussian Proboscis Roadtrip
Bibliographic Intercourse
Crawdad Hummingbird (working title) (oil on wood panel)
Hot v. Cold
Importance (oil on wood panel)
Memorial
Refuse Dept.
Series 4x4
Still Life
Supermodel Gait
Unicycle
Weepy Young Devotchka

P.S. - 5.0 miles, 9:09 per mile, 45:52 minutes, 792 Calories.

Courtesy of Drembonix.

If you don't know who Drembonix is...then you don't know life. But she sent me this. And it is AWESOME.


Mario Theme Played with RC Car and Bottles - Watch more free videos

Faildogs.

Just want to make sure of something real quick...you have all seen faildogs, right? Take the time.

Uh. This is kinda scary.

Did anyone else see this NYTimes story? It's the one about the wave of bankruptcies striking at retail chains.

For some reason the fact that a wave of bankruptcies is going to take down Linens N' Things is oddly frightening. I'm not that disturbed the shuttering of Zales diamond dealers, or Sharper Image...but...there's just something about Linens N' Things going down that makes me nervous.

I can't say that I had any particular affinity for the store, or that I even really shopped there...but those are the types of stores that make up the landscape of American Suburbia. Forget the anti-corporatist, anti-consumerist bent for just a moment...because for better or worse, that's what our communities look like all over the country. The idea of big, empty and isolated Big Box stores, dead shopping centers, and empty spaces in malls is...eesh.

Let me just sum up off the top of my head:

• Oil is hovering around $100 a barrel. In 2000, it was $22. And when oil prices go up, the price of everything goes up. Every one of those big rigs will be paying 5 times as much to drive across country. Every boat in our extraordinarily liberalized trade patterns will experienced skyrocketing energy prices. The cost of fertilizer (manufactured from natural gas) goes up, and thus the price of corn, grain, rice, soy, and all crops experience increased costs. The cost of grain needed to feed animals for meat goes up then too. And then we're back full circle when the food needs to be transported. Food riots have begun in the developing world. We are now facing a food crisis.
  
• So lets meander slightly from oil, and look to our own transportation and city planning. The entire infrastructure of America after 1950 was premised on oil costs being cheaper than water. So we built highways, roads, and made it the American dream to all own our own houses, and all drive our own cars to get anywhere. We took advantage of the low costs of oil to expand our economies to seek greater efficiencies within and outside of our borders. It doesn't make sense to ship a T-shirt from China to South Carolina...unless of course oil is 20 bucks a barrel. (I don't mean any of this as a condemnation...it's just sorta scary now looking back and seeing the hole we've dug.) So this is our way of life.
  
• But now there's another problem. These houses are starting to disappear. Low to moderate income families are beginning to be swallowed alive by mortgages they can't afford, and defaults are sweeping across the country. The suburbs are beginning to lose their shimmer...and they may even grow into slums as the cities have begun to reattract the propertied classes. (The link is to an article in the Atlantic dissecting the implication sof the sub-prime crisis on suburban communities which I thought was...well, lets just say very worth reading, if slightly gloomy.)
• (I'm not sure how I got here...I was just going to write like 5 sentences of all the things going wrong at once...and now I'm paragraphs deep.)
• So in the midst of this oil turmoil (heh) shaking the very foundation of our economy, a wave of losses hits the investment banks. JP Morgan, UBS, Citi, Wachovia, Bank of America. The Titans of the Financial System, that is to say, the entirety of our financial system...suddenly have no idea what's going on, what's going to happen, and how to stop it. Chain reactions begin to whiplash across the financial system. Then one of the largest investment banks in the world suddenly decides to implode, losing 10 billion dollars in 6 hours. Bear Stearns, having almost a perfect 85-year history, suddenly disappears. (Note: As these banks wrote down their assets, they had to get money from somewhere to stay alive. Guess where they got lots of that from? Yep. China. Now having direct state-ownership over a large swath of Wall Street.)
• And it's spreading. Maybe it will stop. Maybe it won't. But oil prices remain high. Food prices remain high. The effects of the subprime meltdown continue to unwind with new losses everyday. (GE? UPS?)
  
• And now, Linens N' Things is probably going to file for bankruptcy.
  

But then again, everything could be just fine. I don't have any idea. I think I know just enough to be legitimately scared.

P.S. - I'll buy a beer for anyone who actually made it this far. And actually read that garbage. Not just this sentence.

Advice to a Stupid Asshole.

So I was riding my bike down the street with my tax return paperwork in my pocket in order to mail it out today. When I got home to pick up my W-2s, I discovered that all of my paperwork had blown out of my pocket at some point and into the street.

Thus, my SSN, my address, phone number, and financial information is all floating around in an envelope somewhere in Cambridge. I'm a little bit concerned about what the information can be used for, particularly identity theft.

Anyone have any idea about what I can/should do? Do I just have to start tracking my credit history much more closely? Or what?

I'm sick of being a bicyclist in Boston. I'm ready for a motorcycle or a car. Jesus.

Edit: The Liquor Store found it. Phew!

P.S. Stupid Nike+ Website is not letting me post the cool little graphic, so I just have to do it by hand. 3.7 miles, 32:21, 8:44 per mile, 586 calories, squiggly line. Huzzah!

I love blue skies and sunny days.

This is the sort of blog post that people make fun of the most...because of it's mundanity, lack of content, and degree of self-absorption exuded because how could we possibly think anyone would care? (I don't, but I continue...)

The one thing that Boston makes me really appreciate is Spring. I think I used to take blue skies, sunbeams, and weather above 60 degrees for granted. Now...when I wake up and see blue skies and sun, all I want to do is walk around doing nothing, run errands, smoke cigars outside, take a long run, ignore my studies, and waste lots and lots of time instead of studying.

So that's exactly what I did. I got up, went shopping at my local hippie grocery store, bought some fruit, coffee, pastrami, a bagel, and some smoked whitefish (my new favorite bagel spread learned from my Jewish friends...) and promptly came home and sat in my backyard smoking a left over cigar from the Bachelor party in DC (a nice Davidoff).
After that, I thought...what better way to waste time than to take a run? So...I walked 30 minutes to school to get my running shoes, then walked another 15 minutes to the Charles River,
and took a nice leisurely run, nicely captured by this little box....

Then...I came home and decided to shower, do laundry, blog, and eat some more whitefish instead of doing my work...Plus, I'll be going out tonight, so I basically have an hour to work...despite the crushing pressure of exams.

And that's my life.

P.S. I found this picture of CARVED CRAYONS on Andrew Sullivan's blog. Joey, I think you must a little slow on the uptake if this hasn't appeared yet. (His name is Pete Goldlust)

Game Theory and Single Men.

I've generally resisted posting news articles and other reading material, being under the impression that no one actually reads any of it. (With the exception of RS who will read the political and economic stuff just so he can respond in full force in comments.) For no good reason, I thought this article was sorta interesting, so I decided to post it. I don't necessarily buy it, but it's definitely something I thought was interesting to mull over...

The problem of the eligible bachelor is one of the great riddles of social life. Shouldn't there be about as many highly eligible and appealing men as there are attractive, eligible women?

Actually, no—and here's why. Consider the classic version of the marriage proposal: A woman makes it known that she is open to a proposal, the man proposes, and the woman chooses to say yes or no. The structure of the proposal is not, "I choose you." It is, "Will you choose me?" A woman chooses to receive the question and chooses again once the question is asked.

Obviously, this is simplified—in contemporary life, both sides get plenty of chances to be selective. But as a rough-and-ready model, it's not bad, and it contains a solution to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox.

You can think of this traditional concept of the search for marriage partners as a kind of an auction. In this auction, some women will be more confident of their prospects, others less so. In game-theory terms, you would call the first group "strong bidders" and the second "weak bidders." Your first thought might be that the "strong bidders"—women who (whether because of looks, social ability, or any other reason) are conventionally deemed more of a catch—would consistently win this kind of auction.

But this is not true. In fact, game theory predicts, and empirical studies of auctions bear out, that auctions will often be won by "weak" bidders, who know that they can be outbid and so bid more aggressively, while the "strong" bidders will hold out for a really great deal. You can find a technical discussion of this here. (Be warned: "Bidding Behavior in Asymmetric Auctions" is not for everyone, and I certainly won't claim to have a handle on all the math.) But you can also see how this works intuitively if you just consider that with a lot at stake in getting it right in one shot, it's the women who are confident that they are holding a strong hand who are likely to hold out and wait for the perfect prospect.

This is how you come to the Eligible-Bachelor Paradox, which is no longer so paradoxical. The pool of appealing men shrinks as many are married off and taken out of the game, leaving a disproportionate number of men who are notably imperfect (perhaps they are short, socially awkward, underemployed). And at the same time, you get a pool of women weighted toward the attractive, desirable "strong bidders."

Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness.

Patron.

Given the recent bent of my lifestyle, you would think that what I have written above is pronounced Puh-Trone, as in Patron Tequila.

You would be mistaken.

Actually, the word refers to me and should be pronounced Pay-trin, as yes, I have given my vast student loan fortune to the arts and have commissioned my first painting from an up and coming young artist. The working title, thus far, is "Perambula" and it will be delivered to my home sometime quite soon.
(Actually, it's a friend of mine from high school who I recently found on facebook and engaged in a long exchange of mama jokes culminating in "hey dude, how much would you charge me for a painting?" and him saying "uh, 100 bucks?" and then i said "cool. do that." and then he said "that's what your mama said." and then I said "Oohhhhhh! do the painting.")

I'm pretty excited about it actually. Super excited even.

Edit: I haven't given up yet!

Feedback Requested.

I need a professional name, although it may already be too late. Any thoughts? I sorta feel bad throwing my actual name under the bus. I went with my actual name...

Y. Mama
Yo M. Ma
Yo M.
Yo Mama


(P.S. - This past weekend was so fucking awesome.)

Yes, Sarah, I do realize I have now posted my full name on the blog. I will delete this post soon enough.

Edit: Deleted.

Bitch Ass!

Is NOT what I am. I have been challenged by my SF buddy to a "Most Miles in 30 days" challenge. I will prevail. Because I am not a bitchass.

Surprising, but True.

The pre-marinated frozen mahi-mahi from Trader Joe's is actually quite tasty. It's also cheap, easy to make, and quite healthy. I'm definitely going back to the frozen meat and fish section of TJs.

Just thought I'd share, as I eat it for dinner at 2 am while reading an assignment about the Value Added Tax.

New Toy!

So, given the fact that I ran a grand total of like, 3 times, I decided to get a new set of running shoes (since my old ones hurt).

After I saw my buddy's Nike+ system in San Francisco, I couldn't help but run out immediately and get my own. So expect to see random things like THIS posted on my blog from now on.

I consider this particular run pretty impressive given my size, weight, and smoking history.

Spring Break Thus Far.

As I mentioned in my last lengthy post: California is beautiful.

And I mean really beautiful. It's just so damned green it almost glows. And the rolling mountains and hills constantly in the background, the electric blue oceans...not a cloud in the sky. It has truly been astounding to me. I am very very seriously considering moving my life out here because it is just so incredible.

As for the activities, it has been pretty laid back and chill.

Day 1: We woke up and figured it was a good day for a big hearty breakfast, so we went to some brunch type joint and loaded up on high fats, high-glycemic carbs, and proteins. Mmm... Then we went lifting weights for an hour, and then taking a 3-mile run in an area referred to as "The Dish."
Yes. We went for a run there. After that we went to a famous butcher and picked up these black steaks with some sort of tar-black marinade that is so famous it has it's own wikipedia entry, bought a 15 dollar hibachi grill, and sat outside in the sun grilling 1.5 pounds of steak and drinking IPAs. And then we took a walk down to a Cuban restaurant, ordered up some Chimay White on draft, and went to the lounge in the back where we purchased and smoked cigars, drank Chimay, and ultimately sipped Laphraoig until we got so piss drunk we came home and passed the fuck out.

Day 2: I wanted to see more. So we drove down Route 1, which is a mountainous highway on the coast (seriously spectacular...)
...no seriously... that's where the highway is....on a sunny day until we hit the Montana d'Oro state park, which is a series of mountains by the ocean. We took a 4-mile hike up the mountain to the highest peak, froze our asses off because the temperature was definitely 20 degrees cooler up top, and then sauntered our way down to the bluffs, which were themselves incredible. After we had essentially worked our legs to the core, we hopped in the VW, turned up the Top 40 pop, and headed off to San Luis Obispo where I got a fresh seared ahi tuna salad, a local beach ale, a coffee chaser, and hit the road back to SF.

Day 3: Woke up and hit up a diner, where I got the world's least satisfying order of huevos rancheros ever. Then....Napa! We drove up to wine country...Napa, Yountsville, and Sonoma. We couldn't really find a good place to go, so we played it safe and hit up Robert Mondavi's plantation, went through a 3 wine-tasting, basked in the beautiful sunny day with a mountain backdrop, and then decided to stop off at an Outlet center to pick up some clothes, and then headed off towards Sonoma for a few more wine-tastings, and an incredible prix fixe dinner at the General's Daughter.
And now I'm back in Palo Alto watching TV and blogging.

And I assure you, despite the description.....it was all thoroughly hetero.

California...

IS GORGEOUS.

Oh my god, how I hate thee Boston.

San Francisco

First, the textbook chapter on China is now complete...almost 80 pages of Chinese Financial System Goodness. If you ever wanted to know everything about the Chinese Financial System, give me a buzz and I'll gladly send it over to inflict you with it.

Second, I'm heading out to San Francisco for my spring break. Actually, I'll be at Stanford...but Potato Paloalto, right?

Otherwise, I have nothing particularly new to report. I plan to go out to Cali, relax, maybe see wine country, maybe see some ocean, visit Nik and Patrick, leave behind all the stress and bullshit of my life and just disappear 3,000 miles into another world.

Also, since it's SPRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG BREAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!, that means I get to read a book finally. I've chosen two for this trip:

1) In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto (Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants.) by Michael Pollan
--This is Michael Pollan's follow-up to the Omnivore's Dilemma...a book I found thoroughly educational, enjoyable, enlightening, appetizing, and simply lovely. This seems like it's going to be just the same, and I'm truly very excited.

2) The Sportswriter by Richard Ford
--I've heard so many good things about the trilogy of Richard Ford books, namely Independence Day, which won the Pulitzer awhile back (The third one is....Lay of the Land I believe.) In any case, it's supposed to be good. So this is my novel. And if I love it, there's TWO MORE waiting! (Plus, if I don't read it, I will always imagine it's about Ray Barone.)

Since I have the moment I would also like to mention the music I'm newly digging...
--Bird and the Bee's new EP - One Too Many Hearts (Excellent!)
--Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
--Everyday Visuals - Things Will Look Up (still excellent!)

And......bye!

Jeremiah Wright.

So this whole Obama-Wright problem?

I do however, find these media curve surveys to be interesting. Not surprising, of course, yet still saddening all the same. If you haven't seen one of these before, I suggest you do so....

Gaping.

I was looking through Tourfilter to see what upcoming shows are coming through Boston. List after list of stupid indie band names, and washed out acts that don't deserve any real attention (I will not be going to see the Pretenders, Nada Surf, or the B-52's).

As I was scrolling through.....SUDDENLY....I see something called Bjorkestra. My head tilted back slightly and I stared at the name, suspicious. So I googled it, and found a MySpace page. And then I hit play on the little mp3 player.

...and I began gaping uncontrollably at my computer in the library.

It's not sublime or fantastic. But it is definitely an 18-piece (and very skilled) jazz band covering Bjork. And it is definitely interesting. And they are coming to Boston.

I've included a video of Hyperballad for the one (maybe two?) of you who have reached level 5 approval in my books because you listen to Bjork.

Krugman.

I thought Krugman's column today made an interesting point about the creation of an alternate financing system and the economic equivalence of asset backed securities and bank loans in 1930. I had never really considered the point, but he being Paul Krugman super economist (seriously), I take his economic analysis fairly seriously. I've pasted it below in case you were interested.

Contrary to popular belief, the stock market crash of 1929 wasn’t the defining moment of the Great Depression. What turned an ordinary recession into a civilization-threatening slump was the wave of bank runs that swept across America in 1930 and 1931...

Banks exist because they help reconcile the conflicting desires of savers and borrowers. Savers want freedom — access to their money on short notice. Borrowers want commitment: they don’t want to risk facing sudden demands for repayment.

Normally, banks satisfy both desires: depositors have access to their funds whenever they want, yet most of the money placed in a bank’s care is used to make long-term loans. The reason this works is that withdrawals are usually more or less matched by new deposits, so that a bank only needs a modest cash reserve to make good on its promises.

But sometimes — often based on nothing more than a rumor — banks face runs, in which many people try to withdraw their money at the same time. And a bank that faces a run by depositors, lacking the cash to meet their demands, may go bust even if the rumor was false.

Worse yet, bank runs can be contagious. If depositors at one bank lose their money, depositors at other banks are likely to get nervous, too, setting off a chain reaction. And there can be wider economic effects: as the surviving banks try to raise cash by calling in loans, there can be a vicious circle in which bank runs cause a credit crunch, which leads to more business failures, which leads to more financial troubles at banks, and so on.

That, in brief, is what happened in 1930-1931, making the Great Depression the disaster it was. So Congress tried to make sure it would never happen again by creating a system of regulations and guarantees that provided a safety net for the financial system.

And we all lived happily for a while — but not for ever after.

Wall Street chafed at regulations that limited risk, but also limited potential profits. And little by little it wriggled free — partly by persuading politicians to relax the rules, but mainly by creating a “shadow banking system” that relied on complex financial arrangements to bypass regulations designed to ensure that banking was safe.

For example, in the old system, savers had federally insured deposits in tightly regulated savings banks, and banks used that money to make home loans. Over time, however, this was partly replaced by a system in which savers put their money in funds that bought asset-backed commercial paper from special investment vehicles that bought collateralized debt obligations created from securitized mortgages — with nary a regulator in sight.

As the years went by, the shadow banking system took over more and more of the banking business, because the unregulated players in this system seemed to offer better deals than conventional banks. Meanwhile, those who worried about the fact that this brave new world of finance lacked a safety net were dismissed as hopelessly old-fashioned.

In fact, however, we were partying like it was 1929 — and now it’s 1930.

The financial crisis currently under way is basically an updated version of the wave of bank runs that swept the nation three generations ago. People aren’t pulling cash out of banks to put it in their mattresses — but they’re doing the modern equivalent, pulling their money out of the shadow banking system and putting it into Treasury bills. And the result, now as then, is a vicious circle of financial
contraction.

I remember sitting around the dinner table that one night with all those finance professors and the SEC guy as they were lobbing a variety of hypotheticals at him about regulatory postures and outcomes. Two stuck in my mind in particular, both lobbed by the prof I'm working for, the director of the international finance program here at HLS. The first was about how the SEC had taken supervisory jurisdiction over Bear Stearns, and what would happen to the credibility of the SEC if Bear Stearns were to collapse. This was a week before the Bear Stearns implosion. (This is not relevant except to say that the market clearly wasn't expecting such a precipitous implosion at the time...)

The second asked what type of regulatory adjustments the SEC would make if, say, our economy were to suffer a market catastrophe on par with the start of the Great Depression in 1929. Startled at what seemed like an outlandish hypothetical, akin to a 1L asking a Con Law prof about the separation of powers in the face of all out nuclear war, I looked around the table to see if anyone had a professorial half-smile, or look of purely academic interest in their face awaiting an answer to the question. But there wasn't. The question was asked, received, and answered as if the situational presented a perfectly reasonable possibility.

I don't know that it's fair to read anything into that moment, but for a split second in mid-bite of froufy doof salmon, I got chills.

Whoa.

OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME. JOEY, I HAVE UNCOVERED THE SUPER AWESOME.




(suck it slav boy)

Quote of the Day

"The Dalai [Lama] is a wolf in monk's robes, a devil with a human face but the heart of a beast," Zhang Qiling the head of the Tibetan government.

Indeed.

DA's Visit.

(The picture will be removed on request because you are the most internet paranoid motherfucker I have ever encountered in my entire life, but just to be clear: my blog is unfindable by search engines and the public and you're a horrible loser if you raise a stink about it. jackass.)

I really should suppose I should comment on DA's spring break trip. But I am also currently sitting in the 11th circle of hell (law student), so I will keep it short.

• Picking up DA in this Benz and managing to fit 2 suitcases and 2 bookbags in the car = Awesome.
• Being called "fag" approximately 30 times every 6 hours = slightly less awesome.
• Introducing DA to like 30 new people and making sure that every single person is made aware that he is 30 years old = super awesome.
  
• Legal Seafoods and 3 cups of chowder in a span of 24 hours = So awesome.
• Skiing on an enormous mountain and taking 20 minutes to get to the bottom = sublime. Except for the burning burning pain in my thighs. oh god the pain.
• Being better than Joey and measuring awesome = you guessed it.

Actually, I'm not going to catalog all of the things we did because now that I think about it....we ended up doing a ton of cool stuff from going to a party near Fenway, eating huge meals after a long day of skiing, recording a video of DA playing "Talk Dirty to Me" on Guitar Hero while he was singing the wrong lyrics, listening to him bitch about being tired and old for a 3 hour car drive, and drinking large amounts of beer. It was, of course, one of the most supremely stressed days I've had this year...which he had the privilege of watching me viciously unleash upon my LLM partner. (I admit, it is pretty awesome to scream at an LLM about how much he sucks as a human being, listen calmly to his sob stories about how his life is falling apart, and pause just long enough to take a breath before telling him that his problems are not my problems.) Also, don't let him convince you that "Gaysian" is a good nickname, or that it's even remotely clever.

Cheers dude.

A Month, A Milestone.

So, if I haven't bragged enough about it yet, I am now officially smoke-free for over 1 month. Although I officially quit on February 10 and today is March 12, I figure with the leap day plus one, I can safely call this the one month marker. We'll call it 30 days for purposes of an updated calculation.

• 300 cigarettes unsmoked. That's 25 packs of cigarettes!
  
• 120 dollars saved. That's 60 nights with RS's mother!
  
• And, if myth has merit, I have regained somewhere between 45 to 54 hours of my life back. That's 2 days in a nursing home!
• My lung function is supposed to start improving at this point too. That's an extra 10 decibels on my next "that's what she said!"
  
• Giggity.

I also stopped chewing the gum. I carry it around with me just in case I get overcome with an urge, and I can pop a piece in my mouth. I haven't really been paying attention, but I've probably had less than 5 pieces in the last 14 days...including the last 7 days or so when I haven't used it at all.

On top of that, I am definitely mired in the...

• heaviest drinking...
• most stressed...
• emotionally trainwrecked...
  
• and hedonistic....

...periods of my life. And I haven't smoked a cigarette. That's pretty damn cool.

Monday Night.

I really haven't had much to say recently because I've been cooped up in the library all day, except for my birthday party...so I figured I'd report on today's events.

So I basically had a real Harvard moment last night, and I don't think I was very good at it. I get this random email from my professor's assistant last week asking, "Professor Jackson would like to invite you to dinner after the presentation on Monday with the general counsel of the SEC."

My first reaction was "hell no."

After a moment, I hit back space to delete the words "Hell no" from the reply-email and pondered, "isn't this the sort of thing I'm supposed to be doing here?" So ignore the email, and go back to work while I thought it over. After thinking for awhile, I figured that this was sort of a big class dinner thing. There were only 15 of us, so we were all probably going to the dinner. So I look at the email again, and it's addressed to me, and it says "Hi Jay." Hm.

Eventually, I suck it up and decide to accept. It's time for me to grow a pair and do the things that adults are expected to do.

So, I show up last night and it's just me and one other student. And it takes place in here:
...which is a place I have no business being in. I have not the slightest understanding of why I have been invited. I don't really understand finance. I'm sort of a fraud. I don't have a great econ background, I only took securities regulation for 13 days and NEVER learned a thing about the trading markets. I always get confused when I hear the word broker-dealer. I took one single finance class last spring, from which ALL of my knowledge springs. ONE. ONE! Yeah, so I think it's fascinating and I learn more every day...but I am really not someone who can earnestly consider myself even remotely expert. I'm informed, and I'm curious. That's the line. I just understand enough to survive my classes and maybe read half of the business pages. What am I doing here?!?!

As I walk into the room, my heart drops, a brick tears its way through the seat of my pants, and I begin numbly dreading the next two hours of my life. It appears that the financial illuminati of Harvard Law School have all congregated in one room: the former Dean of the law school and former director of Time Warner, an infamous shareholder agitator, a German finance professors, Harvard Business School professor, the directors of all of the corporate and finance departments in the law school, the general counsel of the SEC, former Presidents of the Law Review, and at least 6 former Supreme Court clerks. And there were only about 10 people in the room total, so I could not safely hide in the corner. Suckage. Cocktails at 7. Dinner at 7:30. Discomfort forever.

So I drank wine. And I drank more wine. And I ate the froufy foods. And I sat there, non-contributing as these people zinged back and forth discussing the most complex high finance concepts from subprime to the financial bubbles to IFRS and GAAP to the 1929 crash, and on and on and on. It was fascinating, but I knew I had nothing to contribute, and calmly ate my food. Fork in left hand. Cut romaine leaf in two pieces. Stab lettuce and julienned pepper with left hand. Raise fork. Place knife carefully on top right of plate. Pass fork to right hand. Raise to mouth. Transfer fork back to left hand to pin down slippery piece of endive. Eat super slowly. Smile at finance jokes.

Ultimately, it turned out well enough. I got to witness the dialogue between academia and the government about very important issues. I got to see the inside of the faculty club. I got to be the only minority in the room. I got a free gourmet meal that apparently was 70 dollars a plate. I managed to avoid making a fool of myself, even if I did come off a bit timid. And, I got to walk out the door, and promptly go out drinking with a friend until 3 am on Monday night. I consider it a success.

What a week.

This week has been a total bitch. I'm not going to go into details, but it was entirely too stressful to be a birthday week. I will say, my actual birthday was quite fantastic, with all those nice facebook wall posts from people you never speak to anymore, various gifts received in the mail, musical theatre with law students, and late night drinks and desserts. (I actually ate 3 full desserts on my birthday, none of which were planned.)

I'm currently totally fucking exhausted. I did my birthday celebration last night at a bar down the street, which happened to simultaneously coincide with
1) Duke v. Carolina
2) Celtics Game
3) Saturday Night
4) Harvard's MPRE Post-Party with Free Drink Tickets

As could be surmised, I ended up totally fucking trashed and I'm not entirely clear on what happened last night, except that I have a surprising number of friends who will show up and drink on a Saturday night from all different groups of folks. Warm and fuzzy feeling, as I finally belong here.

...and I woke up so fucking hung over I have not done any work all day...and have decided to go to bed before Midnight for the first time, probably, in 5 years.

DA: I am looking forward to your visit. I am totally not looking for preparing for it tomorrow and Tuesday.

Laziness.

My laziness thus far has made this the worst week of the semester. It includes:

• Writing 2 very large research papers
  
• Writing 1 response paper
• Being on call
  
• Reading 4 articles on Tax
• Organizing the mass subcite on saturday
  
• MPRE this Saturday
• Attending the school Parody performance
  
• Excessive personal turmoil
• My Birthday
• Meeting with my Professor about the project I agreed to do but have not touched in 4 months
• Normal Schoolwork
• No Cigarettes.

Despite the fun, I was in such a huff both nights that I decided that I should just go out drinking excessively, thus losing Monday and Tuesday evening. (Note: I drank to excess Friday and Saturday.)

And that's all. I'll be sure to report back soon as soon as I find another lull that I pretend I have the luxury to indulge.

(DA...what's the deal? Did you pick a place?)

Arab Wal-Mart

If you have a couple of spare moments, I suggest you check out this article about a Wal-Mart that hopened in Dearborn, MI, which has a huge middle eastern population...

It's about a Wal-Mart that is aimed predominantly at middle easterners...and it's a legitimately interesting one and a half minutes well-spent...